Artemis Fowl: The Galactic Adventure
by Jarlaxle Baenre
Summary: Post Opal Deception. Opal Koboi has once again vanished without a trace. It is up to our motley crew of miscreants, LEP officers, and the occasional Mud Boy to save the world once more... HollyTrouble... how can you not? Finally complete!
1. Chapter 1

_Opal Koboi Loose Again_

_Despite the LEPrecon assurances that this time, Opal Koboi would remain under tight security with no chance of escape, it has happened again. This fiendish pixie has vanished without a trace. Efforts by a certain centaur who wishes to remain unnamed have gone in vain, and all tracking methods have failed, including the aforementioned centaur's recent invention that act as indicators of where someone has been in the last forty-eight hours-_

Foaly slammed the newspaper down irritably, muttering darkly under his breath. He sat down in his specially-modified swivel chair and opened up his computer to do a search into Koboi's records. They wouldn't reveal anything new- he had written them, after all- but they would make him feel like he was doing something.

A beeper went off. There was someone at the door of the Operations Booth. Glancing at the screen of the camera's view, he sighed. Sool. Again.

"Come in, Commander," he said unenthusiastically, and punched in the code to open the door.

"Ponyboy!" Sool shouted, "I want an explanation! How did Koboi get out of that cell?"

"Excuse me, Commander, but I'm a centaur."

Sook scowled. "I don't want your cheek, Foaly, I just want the facts."

Foaly sighed. How he missed Julius.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Holly Short was sitting at her desk, doodling on a corner of a piece of paper. She had thought that by quitting the LEPrecon force, she could live a life of her own, one in which she could do what she wanted when she wanted without having Sool breathing down her neck. And that's what she had now. But she found that she didn't like it.

There was a knock on her office door. "Come in, Mulch," she said dully.

The door opened, and a very un-Mulch-like fairy entered. "Hardly Mulch, Captain."

Holly jumped up from her chair, flustered. "My apologies, Major Kelp. I just assumed… though it is rather unusual for Mulch to knock…"

Major Kelp, famous for choosing the name "Trouble" when he graduated from the Academy, smiled and, removing his helmet and tucking it under his arm, sat down in an unoccupied chair across from Holly's desk. Trouble was the only one who still called her Captain, and she found that she liked it. It gave her a sense of purpose.

When Trouble didn't speak for a moment, Holly asked nervously, "Can I help you, Major?"

"Holly," he said slowly, as though choosing his words carefully, "I know how you feel about Sool and the LEPrecon, and so I hate to ask you to do this. I trust you saw the article in the paper this morning?"

Holly shook her head. She had stopped reading the paper after the headline news had been Bob's Pizza Parlor's thousandth anniversary.

Trouble's eyes widened. "You're kidding."

"What is it?"

"Holly, you really oughta keep up on stuff like this…"

"What's happened?"

"You need to read the paper more often, you know…"

"Major, with all due respect, tell me what happened or I'll punch your face in."

Trouble didn't doubt it. He told her.

Holly sank back into her chair with a moan. "Opal Koboi. I should've known. In all honesty, Major, the Mud Men have a good reason for the death penalty."

"Yes, Captain, but they're barbarians. Most of them, at least. Thus why we don't have the death penalty in Haven."

Holly's fingernails were digging into the arm of the chair. "Someday that pixie is going to find herself backed into a corner. And when that day comes-" Holly grinned so maliciously that Trouble shuddered- "I'll be there."

"I don't doubt it. Now, Holly, I have a proposition to make you."

Holly knew what was coming.

"You're the best officer we have- or had, rather- in the field. You've beaten Koboi twice now, and emerged mostly unscathed."

"It wasn't because of me, Major," she said, heaving a heavy sigh. "It was all Artemis' doing. He's the genius behind both of Koboi's defeats."

"I know, Captain, but you'd do a better job at it than anyone else. I have to ask you to rejoin the LEP, even if it is temporary, in order to catch Koboi."

Holly considered it. She really did. But she had made up her mind. "Trouble…"

The use of his first name must have alerted Trouble to what was coming, because he interrupted quickly. "Do this for Haven, Captain. If no one else, do this for me."

Holly stopped short, no pun intended. How could she say no to that?


	2. Chapter 2

Holly couldn't help but grin as Trouble pressed his palm against the scanner to open the doors to Police Plaza. She was beginning to think it had been a mistake to quit the LEP, a feeling only bolstered when Commander Ark Sool saw her entering beside the Major.

"Kelp, what below earth do you think you're doing?" the gnome asked in a deadly quiet voice.

"With all due respect, Commander," Trouble said, with a subtle hint of derision in his words, "Captain Short is the only fairy who can take on the Opal Koboi case and do a decent job."

"_Miss _Short is no longer an officer, Major."

"She has agreed to accept the post of Captain, at least until this issue is resolved."

"Kelp, I would have you demoted to private because of your insolence if I didn't need you as Major. As it is, all officers are appointed by me, and only me. Miss Short, I must ask you to leave. Police Plaza is no place for _civilians._"

"Commander," Trouble said, and now there was a note of warning in his tone, "Your personal grudges cannot get in the way of the good of the community. The Council will approve my decision. I am loath to go against your wishes, but I must honor my oath, which was to 'protect my fellow fairies by any measures whatsoever.' Thus, I feel I must take this issue before the Council if you will not reinstate Captain Short."

Sool opened his mouth to say something, but Holly cut in. "Of course, Commander, you could reinstate me of your own accord, and then be remembered as the commander who took all necessary steps to halt what could possibly be the most dangerous pixie that has threatened Haven in three centuries."

He considered it for a moment. "Alright, then, Short," he said grudgingly, "come to my office and I'll get you registered as a Captain. But this is only short term, mind you."

"Of course, sir."

Three grueling hours later, Holly emerged from the office that had previously belonged to Julius Root, wearing a new LEPrecon suit, weaponry, and helmet. She felt alive again.

Trouble was waiting for her outside. As soon as they were out of hearing range of Sool's office, he smiled slightly. "Not too proud to keep you out of the LEP, then? I was afraid he'd back out at the last moment."

Holly shook her head.

"So, just hypothetically, would you consider staying after the Koboi mess is cleared up?"

Holly chuckled. "I would stay all my life if I could annoy Sool every day."

Trouble grinned, and Holly's heart did something that stunned even her: it fluttered. Holly nearly stopped dead in her tracks. Her heart had _fluttered_. Skipped a beat. Shot up in her throat. What surprised her even more was that she was not displeased.

Trouble was speaking to her, and she decided that she should probably listen. "…since you're under my jurisdiction, I think I can get clear with the Council to give you full charge of the situation, meaning you get to use your judgment without my or Sool's clearance."

Holly grinned. "You actually trust my judgment? After everything I've done?"

Indeed, after taking the matter to the council, Holly was given charge of the Koboi case. Holly was going to have the time of her life.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Foaly was not a happy centaur when the buzzer alerted him that someone was at the door to the Operations Booth. Without even glancing at the camera, he shouted, "Go away, Sool! I need to concentrate!"

"Open up, ponyboy!" Holly yelled in an over exaggerated imitation of Sool's baritone voice.

The door banged open and Holly found herself an inch from Foaly's nose. "Nobody except Sool calls me… Holly?"

The centaur took a step back in amazement. "Holly," he croaked, "you're not allowed-"

She grinned as he noticed the captains' badge on her shoulder. "Sool actually let you?" he said in amazement, still staring at her as though she was Julius Root come back from the dead.

"Stop ogling, Foaly, and tell me everything you know about the Koboi case. I've been given temporary charge, and I need your help."

Foaly turned around and booted up his computer, muttering, "Just tell her everything. No one appreciates what I do."

Holly, hearing this, said in a completely serious voice, "If Koboi takes over the world, Foaly, I'll make sure you get a medal for being the one who allowed it to happen."

"Hey," he said in an injured tone, "that's not fair."

"It's fair if you don't tell me everything that's going on. Pull up the files, c'mon."

Foaly ground his teeth. "It's not that easy…"

"Foaly, pull up the files or I'll pull them up with your face."

"Like commander, like captain," he muttered, and pulled up the files.

"She escaped from Haven high-security prison," he began. "You know what the guard on that is like. There was a power outage for no more than three seconds, and when the lights came back on, she had vanished without a trace."

"Go on," Holly said, intrigued.

"Sool was there at the time. He examined the cell himself and found no insecurities whatsoever. An immediate search was conducted, but yielded no results. They tried to use my Persequor, but they're obviously inexpert because they couldn't find anything."

"What's a Persequor?"

"It's a machine that I patented last month that tests the air to find residual traces of magic left behind by a fairy who has passed through the area within the last forty-eight hours. They didn't know how to use it, otherwise they'd be hot on Koboi's trail."

"And it couldn't be that Koboi simply found a way to beat the machine?" Holly asked slyly.

"Of course not," he snapped.

Holly was thinking. "But…"

"But what?" he asked, upset.

"Koboi had a growth hormone implanted so that she could join the humans," she said slowly. "She couldn't even mesmerize her new adopted mother. She had no magic left, so there was no magic she could leave in the air. The Persequor wouldn't have picked her up."

The color drained out of the centaur's face. "I didn't even think about that. It was such an obscure… D'Arvit, Holly, I must be getting old…"

"Practically ancient," she assured him. "Now, tell me this, was there anyone who could have helped her escape this time? Last time it was the fairy twins, Mervall and Scant, this time…"

"We checked out all the staff at the prison. We even scanned the most suspicious ones with the Retinamager, but nothing significant turned up."

"What about like what happened with Scalene? Was there someone who went in to visit her recently before this happened?"

Foaly shook his head. "No one except Sool, who was there on his monthly visit to check up on all the Haven high-security prisoners. He went in there for a grand total of about thirty seconds. No words were exchanged and nothing happened. He didn't even make it to our suspect list."

"Pity," Holly said dryly. "Who did?"

Foaly shrugged. "No one. We have nothing. No leads. There wasn't any evidence. It was as though she never existed. She simply vanished."

"Great," she muttered. "Well, is there anything else you have to tell me?"

"Other than the fact that this is an utterly hopeless endeavor? No, I don't think so."

"Thanks for your enthusiasm, ponyboy."

"Hey," he protested, "that's not nice."

"You must be going soft," Holly smirked on her way out the door. "I thought that nobody except Sool gets away with calling you ponyboy."

"That's right, Short. You'd better hightail it out of here, because you're about to get a heavy shock from the plasma tiles I've got installed right where you're standing."

"Oh," Holly said, quickly stepping into the un-plasma-tiled hall. "Sorry about that."

Once she was outside, she decided it was time to make a call. A call to a particularly smart Mudboy…


	3. Chapter 3

Okay, so first off, I'm really sorry it took soooooo long to update. Fanfiction kind of just… slipped off my priority list for a while. Anyway, I should be able to update more often now that school's out… maybe… I will do my best. I'm working on three stories right now (which is a big mistake- never start more than one), so updates probably won't be every week or anything, but… maybe… every other week? No promises, though…

And then my disclaimer: Not mine. Zip. Zilch. Nada. None. Nothing. Forget about suing me, 'cause you won't get anything.

Artemis Fowl the Second was in the parlor with his parents, sipping a cup of hot coffee and trying to look interested in what they were saying about a trip to the Swiss Alps from which they had just returned. In reality, his mind was far away, with a certain Mulch Diggums, a kleptomaniac little man (or rather, fairy, but he didn't tell anyone that) who was currently in the United States, near a place you might have heard about… namely, Fort Knox.

Artemis had tried to put a halt to his criminal activities, but found himself quite unable to deviate from his illicit ways. Ever since (re)meeting Holly, his mind had been torn between the angel on his right shoulder and the devil on his left (figuratively speaking, of course). Half of him wanted to continue to defeat the most sophisticated security systems in the world, but the other half of him felt a strange sort of longing for a life he had never known, one in which he was a normal, average kid with loving parents, who had nothing better to do that sit in front of a videogame or play outside with a friend, a Frisbee, and a dog.

The fifteen-year-old genius jumped guiltily when his cell phone rang. His father stopped reminiscing abruptly about a particularly enjoyable night spent in a prestigious hotel and smiled. "Go ahead and answer it, Arty, we can wait."

Artemis withdrew his cell from his pocket and flipped it open. As soon as he saw who it was, he hurriedly pressed the off button and clapped it shut again.

"It was no one," he said, a little too quickly. "Wrong number."

Artemis winced at his grammar. "Wrong number" was _not_ a complete sentence. He was going to have to be a little more careful when he was nervous.

"Are you okay, Arty?" his mother asked, getting up to feel his head. "You used an incomplete sentence, and that's not like you."

"I'm fine," he muttered, but just as suddenly had an idea. "Actually, I think I might have a bit of indigestion."

As he had expected, his mother said, "Oh, Arty, I do hope it's nothing serious. Why don't you go lie down for a while?"

"Yes, Mother, I think I will."

She scowled. "Must you always call me 'Mother?' It sounds so cold and formal. You could call me Mom."

"Yes, Mom. I'm going to go lie down."

"Feel better, Arty," his father said from the couch.

"Thank you, Father."

As soon as Artemis was out of sight of his parents, he quickened his pace and strode not to his room to lie in bed, but to his study, where he took out his cell phone once again. He sank into the high-tech swivel chair provided him by Foaly and checked the Caller I.D. Indeed, his mind had not been playing tricks on him (not that Artemis Fowl's mind was known to do so). He hit the _call back_ button.

There was a malicious sort of humor in the voice that answered. This was one of the few voices that could send a shiver up Artemis' spine. "Hello, Mudboy."

"Holly."

"Yup, it's me."

"I take it you need a genius to solve your life problems and save Haven while he's at it?"

"Well, actually…"

Artemis was surprised. "We're saving Haven?"

There was a sigh. "Think bigger, Artemis. You're good at that."

Artemis got serious. Not much of a change, really, but now he was no longer imagining a petty thief who had robbed a local sprite's pizza parlor. He was thinking bigger. "What's happened, Holly?"

"I can tell you, but you're not going to like it."

"Tell me."

She told him. He didn't like it.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Domovoi Butler was a man of no small stature, to say the least. The fairy folk, on the other hand, rarely top three feet. And because the lava-proof, stealth-tracking, motion-sensitive shuttle was built for creatures the size of fairies, Butler was not exactly overjoyed when he was told he had to get into one.

"Holly, haven't we saved the fairy race enough times to deserve a decent-sized pod?" he grumbled, hunched on his knees behind the pilot's chair.

Captain Short grinned as she guided the shuttle into the landing port. "No, not quite. Regulations say that you have to save the world a minimum of seven times before you get a custom-built shuttle, and that's without the kidnapping of an LEP officer and the attempt to sell fairy technology to a conniving American businessman going on your résumé."

"What can I say?"

"Well, you can stop complaining about the shuttle, for starters. It's your own fault."

There was a crash from somewhere in the back room, followed by a loud groan. "Try not to damage the shuttle floor, Mulch," Holly called over her shoulder as she set the shuttle down.

"I'm fine, thanks for asking," came the muffled reply, sounding as though it emerged from beneath a pile of emergency heat and cam suits.

Artemis, who had been meditating, stood up and helped Mulch out from under a pile of some kind of fancy suits. The dwarf had returned from his surveillance mission in America barely an hour after Artemis talked to Holly, and shortly after, the LEP Captain herself arrived and agreed to take the flatulent creature along, reprimanding him for not telling her he was going to visit Artemis. What Holly did not know was that he had spent that visit observing the security systems and patterns of Fort Knox.

Artemis had convinced his parents to take another sporadic two-week vacation, leaving him to do as he pleased. They had left immediately, taking with them Butler's little sister, Juliet. Artemis was now free to take a trip to the underground city of Haven.

Holly led them out of the shuttle and to a waiting LEP vehicle. She looked at Butler, down at the car, and back up at Bulter. "You're going to have to walk," she said matter-of-factly. "Or I suppose I could call in a semi…"

Butler sighed. "I'll run."

"Good. Semi-drivers are always irritable, and having to transport giant Mudmen makes them even more so."

Holly climbed in the front seat, leaving Artemis and Mulch to share the back seat. The kleptomaniac dwarf gnawed happily on a carrot while trying to filch the driver's wallet. Holly slapped his wrist. "Don't even think about it. If you're convicted again, we'll make sure we get everything down on paper, so that we have a hard copy when Artemis tries to spring you from prison."

Artemis smiled slightly in the back seat. "Whatever are you talking about, Captain?"

They arrived at Police Plaza at the same time as another car, this one containing an angry commander.

"Short," Sool yelped as soon as Butler jogged up and Artemis got out of the car, "what in the world do you think you're doing? Public enemies numbers one and two, and you've brought them down to Haven!"

"They were granted full pardon when they helped with the last Koboi case," Holly said defensively.

"I order you to sedate them and send them straight back up to the surface. I'm taking this to the Council, Short, and they'll have your badge."

"Actually, Commander," said a smug voice coming from one of the speakers on the side of the building, "the Council has granted Holly- um, Captain Short- permission to take all measures deemed necessary to stop Koboi. I'm surprised you don't know that. I would have thought you'd be the first to be told."

While Sool stood there, mouth open, Holly sidestepped him and led the way inside, winking cheerily in the way she knew the outside cameras to be. "Nice one, Foaly," she muttered, knowing that the centaur's ultra-sensitive microphones would pick it up, but Sool's ears wouldn't.

Sool seemed to regain his speech ability just as Holly was entering the building. "Captain," he said angrily, "I want to speak to you in my office in an hour."

"Yes, sir," she said, trying to sound meek. As much as she disliked the gnome, she didn't want to get thrown out of the LEP for insubordination before she even got started tracking Opal Koboi.

In the Operations Booth, Foaly gave Artemis and Butler much the same briefing he had Holly. When he was finished, Artemis leaned back in his chair. "So, Koboi has disappeared without a trace, leaving no suspects, and you have no leads whatsoever."

Foaly ground his teeth. "Basically."

Artemis smirked. "And she even beat your machine."

"The idiots were using it wrong."

"But," Artemis countered, "she's turned into a human, hasn't she? So she wouldn't have left any magic traces."

"Yeah, Holly said."

Artemis clasped his hands behind his head. "Well, the beginning looks like a good place to start. Opal Koboi was in jail and she didn't want to be there. What could be her motives for escaping?"

Holly rolled her eyes. "I think getting out of jail would be motivation enough."

"Yes, but it wasn't that simple last time. Last time she was rather planning world domination. I must say that I suspect that is her ultimate goal once more."

Holly nodded in agreement.

"Artemis," Butler interrupted from his position on the floor, "you have to be careful. You've thwarted her twice now, and once was enough to get you on her revenge list. She wanted to kill you last time. This time I imagine she'll want to tear out your entrails and feed them to you while you're roasting over a superheated fire and then scatter your ashes in Antarctica. And you too, Holly. Whatever you decide to do about it, be careful."

Artemis smiled wryly. "Yes, Mother."

"Artemis, I'm serious."

"Anyway," Holly said quickly, "we need to…" Her voice trailed off as a look of dawning comprehension spread over Artemis' face. She cocked her head. "What is it?"

With a faraway expression on his face, Artemis ran a hand through his raven-black hair. "Of course… If she could get it to work… but how?"

"Get what to work?"

"But it wouldn't work," he said to himself, "unless she could… no… no way."

"Fowl…" Holly said warningly.

"She'd have to get a hold of… but she couldn't, could she? But with Koboi-"

Artemis found himself rudely interrupted by a small fist slamming into his nose. Holly flexed her fingers happily. "Are you going to tell us what you're talking about, Mudboy, or am I going to have to sock you again?"

"No," Artemis said quickly, gingerly rubbing his nose. "I'd rather you didn't."

"Then tell us," she growled.

"From something Foaly said when we were fighting the B'wa Kell two years ago, I gathered that Opal Koboi has been experimenting with alchemy."

Foaly nodded.

"With gold and prolonged life, she could do anything."

"But she never discovered the secret," Holly objected.

Artemis smiled. "Maybe not as far as you know. But she would've kept it secret, wouldn't she? Why would she want others to know?"

"There's a legend," Foaly said slowly, "that the fairies used to have the secret, but those who knew it were corrupted and the value of gold was going down drastically and it was unfair to those who couldn't, so they stopped it."

"How?" Holly asked, intrigued.

Foaly shook his head. "I don't know. Artemis?"

The boy considered. "I've studied alchemy," he said at last. "There are different theories, but the most common one is that it requires a metal that can only be found…"

"Yes?" Holly prompted impatiently.

"At the very deepest part of the Atlantic Ocean," he said smugly.

Holly groaned. "Great," she said, "just great."


	4. Chapter 4

Okay, okay, it's been three and a half weeks. I know. I'm sorry. In my defense, I didn't _promise_ I'd update every two weeks, I just… alright, so you took it as a promise. Again, I apologize. I've never been good with deadlines. But if I make it up with a chapter within the next half a week, will you not kill me? Please?

And it's pretty short, for which I'm sorry, but it was the perfect place to end it, and the next one will be longer, I promise.

Finally, my disclaimer: It belongs to Eoin Colfer. If it didn't, I'd be making millions, not writing fanfiction and hoping someone likes it enough to read it.

"So basically," Holly said, eyes closed, "we have to either stop Koboi from getting to the bottom of the Atlantic, or we have to get there first and take all the metal."

"I say we take all the metal," Artemis said.

Holly rolled her eyes. "We're not letting you experiment with alchemy, Mudboy, so don't get worked up about it."

Artemis' hair wilted in disappointment.

"Mind you," Foaly said slowly, scratching his chin, "we don't know that this is her intention."

Holly shrugged. "Do you have a better idea?"

He thought hard for a second. "No," he said, rather peeved.

"Here's my idea," Butler interrupted. "We put some other trustworthy fairies on any other possibilities, and we take the most likely one and try to corner her. The most likely one, unless I'm much mistaken, is her attempts at alchemy. So we go with that one."

"We need a plan, then," Artemis said.

Holly thought for a moment. "Where exactly in the Atlantic is this reserve of metal, and what kind of metal is it?"

"It's mercury. It's liquid, but it's denser than water, so it all sank to the bottom. The rest of the human race doesn't know about it yet," Artemis said smugly. "I detected it before anyone else-"

"Not true, Mudboy," Foaly smirked, pushing some buttons and punching some keys. A map of the Atlantic Ocean flew up to occupy his computer screen. "Computer, Show plate lines," he said, and a bunch of what looked to Holly like wiggling black-crayon lines appeared, interlocking across the screen.

"Plate tectonics," Artemis said, standing up and moving closer.

"Yes. Computer, zoom at intersection of North American, Eurasian, and African plates."

The computer focused on an area where an almost horizontal squiggly line ended in the middle of an almost vertical squiggly line. "Computer, change to satellite reception."

Instantly the screen flashed and they were looking at the ocean. It was such a clear picture that Artemis felt as though he were actually there. "And that's a satellite feed?" he asked, intrigued.

Foaly nodded. "Best resolution in a satellite yet. Patented by yours truly."

"Amazing," he muttered.

"Computer, activate plate lines on current picture." The black lines flashed up once more. "Notice how the water is darker right here?" he asked, pointing at where the lines intersected.

Everyone moved closer. "That means it's deeper," the centaur continued. "After the comet that wiped out the dinosaurs hit the earth- which, by the way, Mudboy, we've managed to verify as fact- it unsettled all the mercury in the entire ocean, which sank to the very bottom of this crevice."

Holly opened her mouth to say something. What everyone heard, however, was the shattering _crack _of a gun.

Butler and Holly were halfway out the door, weapons drawn, before anyone could blink. There were more gunshots, and Holly raced towards the source of the sound. Butler, however, remained put; his first and only concern was for the safety of Artemis, sitting thoroughly confused behind him.

Holly raced down the hallway, releasing the safety catch on her state-of-the-art Neutrino 3000 as she went. The shots had come from the main entrance of Police Plaza, she was sure of it, and that was where she was headed.

Her mind worked frantically. Who was shooting, and at whom? Another goblin uprising, perhaps? But where would they have gotten guns? Perhaps it was Koboi, come to wreak revenge…

She slammed through the last door, gun raised, and skidded to a halt, taking in the scene before her.

The LEP officers were standing on one side of the room, guns raised but not shooting anything. On the other side stood a gang of renegade fairies, each armed with an old Softnose laser.

Back in the Operation Booth, watching through the cameras, Foaly muttered furiously, "I destroyed those!"

But Holly's eyes were riveted to the two fairies in the middle of the room. One of them Major Trouble Kelp, his own gun lying useless on the floor a few feet away, a charred hole through the side of the barrel. Beside him was Commander Ark Sool, a Neutrino pointed steadily at Trouble's head.

Sool met Holly's eyes, a maniac glint in his own. As watched, he calmly slid the catch on his gun into position. It was set to kill.


	5. Chapter 5

_Two updates. In one day. Beat that._

_Disclaimer: Mine? Whatever gave you that idea?_

"Put down the gun, Short," said Sool.

"Don't, Holly," Trouble said calmly.

Holly's mind was flashing through all her options. Stalling, she said, "I could shoot you before you'd have time to kill him."

"And risk hitting him? I seem to remember that you've already been accused of shooting one superior."

Holly sneered, unwilling to let Sool see how deeply the jibe had cut. "I hit the button. I could hit you if the barest inch was showing. I'm the best marksman in the LEP. In all modesty."

"Then do it," Sool smirked. He nodded towards his group of fairies. Each had his gun aimed at Trouble as well. "I might be killed, but twenty bullets would hit Major Kelp's head before you could blink."

Holly, who had already reached this conclusion, had decided regretfully on a course of action, unable to see another that wouldn't get both of them killed. Trouble read her face. "Holly…" he said warningly.

"Sorry, Major," she said, and set her gun down at her feet.

"D'Arvit," Foaly swore, up in the Operations Booth. "Computer, activate microphones 626, 98…."

"Foaly!" Sool's voice barked. The centaur looked at the screen. The bad guys had swarmed Holly, who was now on her knees, hands cuffed behind her back. "Where did you get those cuffs?" Foaly hissed angrily, even though Sool couldn't hear him. "I had them counted just last night, and they were all accounted for!"

"I know you're listening, centaur," Sool said, as he beckoned to one of his fairies. The sprite handed him another gun. Now the gnome had one trained on Trouble _and _one on Holly.

Artemis was watching behind him, stark white (not that the color of his complexion had changed much) and nervous. Foaly was too busy wracking his brains for a way out to take any pleasure in seeing the Mudboy in a fix.

"Foaly, if you alert anyone else in the building, I'll have to shoot two of your officers. Understand, ponyboy?"

The centaur ground his teeth angrily, but called up microphone number 100. "Yes," he grunted. "Name your terms, _commander_."

"Just don't interfere, horse."

Despite the gravity of the situation, Artemis could not resist a small smile at the centaur's murderous expression. He, of course, had already concocted a plan, which he had been ready to put into motion until Holly had been handcuffed. Now he had to think of something new.

One of Butler's hands was on Artemis' shoulder. The other clutched his gun. It was a comfort thing.

Holly nudged her captor with her elbow. "What's going on?" she asked, as Foaly's voice over the speakers asked what it was Sool wanted.

"Shut up, girly," the fairy snarled. He was a young, punk fairy, with tattoos all over himself, hair dyed purple, ripped clothes, and a bandanna tied around his head.

"Tattoos," she sighed in exasperation. "What smarty thought of sticking a needle in his skin over and over again to discolor his skin? Sounds awfully dumb to me…"

The fairy rounded on her. "I said shut up," he warned her. His eyes were blazing. He was a gnome, just like Sool.

"Holly?" said Foaly's voice in her ear.

She nearly jumped out of her skin. She had forgotten about her helmet mike. "What?" she muttered discreetly, hoping the gnome wouldn't hear.

"What did you say?" the fairy demanded.

"And gnomes, the horrible creatures," she said quickly. "Treacherous misers who have nothing better to do with their time than kidnap innocent bystanders…."

"Holly," Foaly moaned, "don't insult him, he'll just hurt you!"

His name was Bock. He knew she was baiting him, and he was trying not to rise to it, but finding it harder and harder. Glancing quickly at Sool to make sure he wasn't watching, he turned on the very pretty but incredibly annoying LEP officer, and brought up his hand to hit her.

Holly heard Foaly's voice in the background. "Hey," he said indignantly, "you can't hit a girl!"

However, the gnome found found, to his astonishment and great pain, that his blow did not land, but the girl's knee thudded into his groin. All he could do was moan softly and sink to the floor.

Sool hadn't noticed the commotion by the doorway, and Holly took advantage of his distraction. Or, at least, she tried to. She turned and was halfway down the hall before something slammed her squarely between the shoulder blades. There was a moment of agonizing pain, and then everything went black.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"What is he doing?" Foaly growled, slamming his fist on the console. The computer called him a very rude name in his own voice, which only added to his agitation.

"He could be doing one of three things," Artemis said from behind his shoulder. "He's in league with Koboi, and this is an elaborate scheme to kidnap Captain Short and probably me as well, or he's doing it on his own and he's cooked up some idea of a way this will get him what he wants, or he's just a raving lunatic with nothing better to do. Personally, I think he's in with Koboi."

"Camera 100," Foaly said clearly, "run a scan of the room. Show all weapons."

The screen switched to a black and white view, and in several seconds the camera had scanned everyone in the room, and any weapons appeared in color, no matter what they were concealed by.

"D'Arvit," he swore. "Everyone's got another Softnose in his coat, and on top of that Sool has two pistols and three knives tucked in various places."

"I could take them," Butler said casually from his position on the ground, tossing his gun up and down and catching it like an expert, which he was.

"I don't doubt it. You took out a whole elite LEP Retrieval squad once, remember? But not before he shoots Holly or Trouble," he answered grimly.

He punched a few more buttons, and another screen flickered on, this one presenting them with a view from where Holly was standing; he had connected with her LEP helmet. "Holly," he said.

Her image in the camera jumped.

"What?" she muttered.

Before Foaly could answer, the gnome had demanded to know what she had said. She insulted him. The centaur groaned. "Holly, don't insult him, he'll just hurt you!"

Indeed, the figure in the screen had raised a hand to slap her.

"Hey," Foaly said, as if he could hear, "you can't hit a girl."

But the blow never reached Holly's face. She ducked and slammed her knee into the gnome's groin.

"Nice one," grinned Foaly. "Now get out of there."

She tried. But Sool noticed her when she was about halfway down the hall, and, quickly turning a knob on his gun, shot her calmly in the back. She thudded to the ground.

"No!" Artemis yelled, no longer cool and composed.

"She's fine," Foaly said shakily. "The lever he turned switched the stun level to… well, just that. She's stunned, not dead." Then he added, in a rather subdued voice, "I think."

He punched in the numbers 0-0-5 on his keypad, and the screen that read the feed from Holly's helmet, now a very detailed picture of the floor, switched abruptly to Major Kelp's.

"Major!" he hissed.

Trouble didn't even bat an eyelid. Foaly knew he couldn't respond without attracting Sool's attention, so he didn't give him time to answer. "I'm going to shut down the power in the main hall. As soon as the lights go off, duck and knock Sool down. Stay low and get out of there. I'll close the blaster doors as soon as you're into the hall that Holly's in. Wave your left index finger if you understand and agree."

Foaly looked at the camera mounted in one corner of the room, in which he could see Trouble's left hand. The index finger was moving, barely perceptible, from side to side.

"Alright," Foaly said, typing furiously on his keyboard. "Three… two…"

But before he got to 'one,' the lights and computers in the Operations Booth flickered off. The screens died, and even Foaly's desk lamp went out.

Displaying his extraordinarily colorful vocabulary, the centaur tried fruitlessly in the dark to restore power. "It's Koboi," he muttered furiously. "I'll bet anything she's behind this."

There was a cracking sound, and the room was slowly illuminated by an eerie green glow. Artemis and Foaly whipped around.

Butler shrugged, holding up a glowstick. "Crude, but effective," he said. "I always carry one of these, just in case…"

Foaly would have laughed any normal day, but today was not a normal day. "We're trapped here," he said simply. "We can't open the doors without power, and all of Police Plaza's energy comes from the Operations Booth. The entire building's dark and wondering what's happening. And unless their office doors are open, they won't be able to get out either."

Artemis grinned, and it made Foaly shiver. "I've got a plan."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

As soon as the lights flickered off, Trouble dropped down and kicked out viciously towards where he knew Sool's legs to be. But they didn't make contact. Instead, something thudded into his head, knocking him off his feet, dazed.

He figured he must have lost consciousness for a few moments, because when he opened his eyes, there was a bright flashlight pointed directly into his face, blinding him effectively. He groped around him for a weapon, and, not finding any, allowed himself to try to identify whoever was pointing the light at him.

All around him, more lights were turning on. Gunshots were coming from where he knew Sool's recruited punks to be, and there were several loud squeals. After a moment of shooting, Trouble was quite sure all the LEP officers had been taken out.

Someone squatted beside him and rolled him onto his stomach. He lashed out viciously, ready to spring up and fight, but something clubbed him on the head again, and he went limp.

When he awoke once more, his hands were cuffed behind his back and there was a gag firmly tied in his mouth. There were fairies moving around him, and two of them picked him up. He tried to squirm away, but found to his horror that his limbs were immobile. He couldn't move them, even though he could feel them.

Trying to quell the dread rising inside of him, he reasoned, _they've sedated me. I'll be able to move soon enough. Don't panic._

They flung him unceremoniously into the back of a police vehicle behind Police Plaza, where no one could see them. He could hear the normal traffic moving on the street in front of the building, but he could not see it. Moments later, another body was placed beside of him and the trunk slammed, leaving them in utter darkness.

He didn't know who it was, but he had a pretty good guess. Besides that, there was a faint whiff of hazelnut perfume, something he had noticed Holly wore often. Yes, he assured himself, it's Holly. Had his muscles been working, he would have smiled. If there was one fairy he would want to be kidnapped with him, it was Captain Short. She had a very…_ unconventional _way of doing things. To put it lightly.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I know this chapter is the second time I've said that Artemis has had a plan, but haven't said what it is. Truth is, Artemis always has a plan. And I'm not quite as smart as Artemis is. My IQ is only about 127, whereas he has the highest tested IQ score in Europe (I'm not kidding. It's in one of the books, I just can't remember where. Brownie points for finding it). So Artemis always has a plan and a backup plan, but they never get put into effect because I'm the one who has to write about them, and I don't know what they are. So if you have the highest IQ score on any other continents (or if you happen to be Artemis Fowl), please e-mail me and let me know, and whenever I need a plan, you can concoct one for me. And I could really use your help on my Spanish tests…**

**Also, you can probably tell from the three updates in the last two days, that I'm trying to get this done kind of fast. That's becuase, after this chapter, I can't guarantee anything until the beginning of September. The next one'll probably be up before that, but I won't make any promises. I hope these chapters will make up for the break. Sorry for the short notice.**

The lights flickered back on. Foaly's computer whizzed into action, booting up the system again. The centaur's countenance lit up considerably, and he pushed his specially modified swivel chair over to the console. "Power's back," he said gleefully, fingers a blur at the keyboard.

Artemis had stopped speaking abruptly. The power could not have been gone for more than two minutes, and he no longer needed the plan that, if he could say so himself, was worthy of a criminal mastermind. _(A/N: I'm _NOT_ a criminal mastermind (sorry to spoil it for all you conspiracy theorists out there), thus why I don't know what his plan is)_ He frowned. That was his second unused plot today. He was going to have to start thinking faster.

Foaly was practically cackling with glee. "I've got it all on tape, all of it, his treachery, his kidnapping… now he's going to prison for a hundred years, minimum. Ooh, I'll have my revenge…."

Artemis interrupted. "If we can find him, of course."

"We'll find him," Foaly assured them. "Computer, activate all microphones."

His voice boomed out all over Police Plaza. "Attention: red alert, red alert. We have a hostile situation. Two officers have been taken hostage, and the culprit," here he uttered a false cough that sounded oddly like _Sool_, "is on the run. LEP Retrieval Squad one, disperse and look for Commander Sool, prime suspect in this case. Majors and Commanders, please report to the Operations Booth."

He shut off the mikes. "We'll have him back here in no time. Now, I want to see those tapes…."

Five seconds later, he stopped mid-cackle, and the blood drained out of his face.

"What is it?" Artemis asked, curious.

Foaly, wide-eyed and almost frantic, was pulling up file after file on his computer. "No," he moaned, scrolling through a long list, "no, they can't have done."

"What?"

"They took the files!" he spluttered, outraged. "They've deleted everything from half an hour ago up until when the power came back on! How did they do this? When I find out…."

He went on to mutter incoherently under his breath. After about a minute of this, he stopped suddenly. "You know what that means. We can't incriminate Sool unless he's caught red-handed. We have nothing. Nothing!"

He slammed his fist down on the console for the second time that day, and it called him a foul name once more. "Shuddup," he told the computer.

"Please excuse me, but I must now shut down in case of a hostile user," his own voice replied.

"Fine!" Foaly roared. "_Be_ that way!"

"Alright," the computer answered, "I will."

OoOoOoOoOoOooOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Her vision was blurry, and her brain seemed to be pounding a tattoo against her skull. Her whole body seemed a mass aches and bruises.

"Just kill me now," she muttered to no one in particular, rubbing her head gingerly.

"Unadvisable, Captain," said a familiar voice from somewhere nearby.

"Trouble?" she murmured. "Er… Major Kelp?"

He chuckled. "You've finally decided to join the living."

"No, actually, I'd rather be dead. I was forced back here by your discordant voice." She wondered at herself. Her smart mouth would never desert her. "Okay, that wasn't funny, was it?"

"No. Nice try, though."

"Uhhhhhnnnnn," she moaned, rolling over. She blinked a few times, and the room came into sharper focus. She managed to sit up.

"What'd they hit me with?" she asked, feeling her back where she remembered being hit.

"Just high-power stun, but I think they shot you up with a sedative after to keep you out."

"Well," she said matter-of-factly. "It worked."

She took stock of her surroundings. They were in a cold, stone, circular room, though it wasn't a dungeon. There were very small windows spaced about five feet apart all the way around. "Where are we?" she asked in amazement.

He shrugged. "We're in a castle. Surrounded by lots of blue sky. If not for that, we could be in downtown Manhattan, for all I know."

She grinned. Downtown Manhattan was a fairy's worst nightmare, except for perhaps Mexico City. The pollution was so bad that if you didn't come home with lung cancer, you were branded a hero. Chute A3, emerging there, had been shut down years ago.

They had taken all her gear: her helmet, her anti-rad, fireproof, custom-made cam suit, her retractable emergency Dragonfly Hummer wings, and the belt that held her weaponry, buzz baton, and pepper spray, leaving her in her normal tunic and leggings. Trouble had fared no better.

"We can get out of here," she said, gazing around the room.

Trouble scowled. "I'm under eye orders not to leave the room and to stop any action that might possibly be seen as an attempt made by you to escape, using any means needed."

"From whom?" Holly asked, incredulous.

His eyes burned angrily. "Opal Koboi. Apparently her new human qualities include the ability to own and control dwellings…"

"You've seen her?" she asked dangerously, cracking her knuckles.

He nodded. "Sool's in league with her."

That statement brought forth the question that was foremost in Holly's mind. "Why did he do it?" she asked. "Couldn't Koboi have sent in others to kidnap us? Then she wouldn't have lost a valuable spy in the LEP… spy, operative, whatever it was he did for her as her lackey…"

"He's under the impression that he's working with her, as an equal."

Holly laughed bitterly. "Opal Koboi thinks herself superior to everyone. Sool is going to be sorely disappointed when she disposes of him to save herself."

"I want to be there when that moment comes."

She grinned maliciously, and then changed the subject. "So what if I fought you off and got out?"

He shrugged. "You can try, but we're several hundred feet from the ground, and without wings, you can't really fly. And that's if you could even fit out these arrow slits…"

"Is that what they are?"

"In old Mudmen times, back when the People were first coming out with DVD players, they made it easy for humans in the room to shoot out, but very hard for the attackers to shoot in. Very effective for guarding against invading armies."

"And for keeping fairies captive," Holly muttered darkly.

He smiled wanly. "What do you think she's holding us for?"

She glared at nothing in particular. "First so that she can use us to lure anyone else she wants revenge on, and then so that she can inflict a agonizingly slow and painful death upon us."

"Sounds… sadistic."

"Quite," Holly agreed.

For the first time, Holly noticed a trapdoor in the floor, disguised to blend in. She tried to lift it.

"It's locked," Trouble assured her. He was leaning against the wall, underneath an arrow slit. "I tried for about an hour while you were still out of it."

"Ah."

They sat in silence for a few moments. Holly, being an elf, could not stand silence. So she said, "I wish Artemis were here."

"Why?"

She scoffed. "He's a criminal mastermind. He would have a solution to all of this in about five seconds."

He shrugged. "I don't know. Wit and brains can't beat stone walls and chains."

"What chains?"

He shook his head. "It was a metaphor. We're trapped, and I think we've explored every possible way out. I've examined every wall. Without a way out, even Artemis couldn't find one."

"Good point."

"Of course it's a good point. C'mon, it's me. I'm perfect."

She rolled her eyes. "O venerable Major of the LEP recon force! O perfect entity of the Lower Elements! Thy zipper is showing embarrassing things!"

Trouble blushed furiously and did up his pants.

Holly's head began pounding again. "I can't think," she grumbled, trying to reach the ledge of the arrow slit to pull herself up. It was too high. So instead she sank into a sitting position against the wall.

"I think we've got a long day ahead of us."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Opal Koboi indeed felt very sadistic. She watched the exchange between her captives with vindictive pleasure. The cameras she had installed picked up every sound, even the smallest whisper, and she was very pleased when Trouble Kelp said that she was sadistic. It made her quite happy that she wasn't the only one who knew.

She had grown several inches in the fairy prison, having been kept there for nearly a year. And now she wanted revenge.

"Vengeance is sweet," she muttered, delicately plopping a chocolate truffle into her mouth. She loved chocolate truffles.

"What?" Sool asked distractedly, doing something on the computer on the other side of the room. She had had the castle wired with every form of fairy technology imaginable, including a whole lab that would almost match Foaly's Operation Booth.

"Nothing," Opal said. Her voice was as sweet as poisoned honey. How she wished to wring his neck for his insolence! But she tolerated him because she needed him. She was the thinker; he was the doer. Without him, everything would get planned but not much of it would get done. So, until she had her revenge, she would refrain from strangling him.

Actually, the coarse gnome made a favorable change from her last ill-fated partner, Briar Cudgeon. At least Sool was relatively good-looking. Nothing like the models in Passion People magazine, but he had a lean, tough body and a sharp face, even if he did swing around that horrid cane. And on top of that, he was stupid. Overall, she figured she had scored pretty well.

She knew that Foaly had guessed her intentions. She was going to wreak her revenge, but this time in a very different fashion. And she was going to get rich off it.

It had taken her months to find, through Sool, the oldest living fairy. According to records, she had died about twenty years previously, but there had been rumors that she had secretly gone up to live with the humans. Then all that remained was to extract the secret from her, which, with the modern sciences, was not hard to do.

And now, she had the key to unlock the science- now considered crackpot fantasies- that had baffled chemists for ages.

She had the key to perform the ancient magic of alchemy.


	7. Chapter 7

Firstly, the disclaimer: It's not mine. Duh. It's Eoin Colfer's, except for an Ernest Hemingway quote and a Peter Pan quote and a line I stole from a song in Wicked because I'm in a Wicked mood because I'm going to see it in May and we got great seats and I'm so excited!

Alright, I'm going to apologize in advance for the length (or lack of, rather) and poor quality of this chapter. Okay, I guess the quality in of itself isn't that poor, but nothing much happens plot-wise. The thing is, I'm kind of… stuck. But I promised a chapter at the beginning of September, and once it hits the 15th, there just won't be any way to pass it off as the "beginning" of the month. It will get better, I promise, but the combined forces of school, homework, parents, school, writers' block, and school are currently conspiring to kill me. Once I have an assurance that I will survive the year in one piece, I think a considerable amount of stress will come off of my shoulders. And plus, people are begging to see more Holly/Trouble, so I felt obliged to give it to them…. 

Night had fallen, casting the room into pitch black darkness. A few stars could be seen through the slits in the wall, but beyond that, they had no inclination as to what time it was, where they were, or what was happening beyond the walls of their prison.

Trouble leaned against the wall, gazing out at the black canopy that covered the earth. Holly sat on top of the trap door, her head in her hands. She had wracked her brain for hours for a way out of this, but all she had achieved was a head ache and a foul temper. Her auburn hair, slightly longer than she usually let it grow, was a mess, having run her fingers through it countless times.

"The sky is beautiful," Trouble said softly, gazing at it in wonder. His voice was hoarse from lack of water, but gentle as well. "Look, the moon's starting to show out that window."

He pointed, and she stood and crossed to stand by him, where she could see it. Indeed, a curve of the moon was visible from his vantage point.

Holly sighed. "I can't believe the People ever left the surface," she said. "It's amazing up here, with the sky and the grass and the oceans…"

"Humans forced us to the Lower Elements."

Holly shook her head. "That's what they say, but the People could have stayed if they'd wanted to. They could've destroyed the humans if they'd wanted to."

"We're a peaceful people, Captain," he said softly.

That odd, fluttering feeling was beginning to creep into her stomach once again. She banished it and turned her face away, so that Trouble wouldn't see her blushing in the silvery light of the moon.

He sat down, and she followed suit, closing her eyes and leaning her head back against the wall. He spoke again. "I've always wondered," he said slowly, "why fairies—people too—like Koboi do what they do."

"Greed," Holly answered shortly.

"Well, yes," he agreed. "But… we all have our faults, but they don't make us bad fairies. I'm often too impatient." He smiled slightly. "You can be too headstrong. Koboi can be greedy. But what drove her over the edge, to the point where she is willing to hurt—to kill—for her own ends?"

Holly looked at him. The moonlight glinted off of his face, which was calm and relaxed. His eyes were closed, and the corners of his mouth turned down in a slight frown. He continued. "Look at Artemis Fowl, for example. He stole, he tricked, he even kidnapped you for gold. But he would never kill a person."

She smiled, closing her eyes. "He's good at heart. Even if he would never admit it."

"But why isn't Koboi? That's what I don't quite understand. Are some people born evil and some good?"

Holly was silent.

There was a long pause before he spoke again. "She'll kill us, won't she," he said softly.

It was not a question. The solemnity in his voice and the gravity of his words slapped her in the face, like death's touch.

She had never been afraid to die. She would never have gone into the LEP force if she were. No, what struck her now was that she _was_ going to die. Koboi had her in her snare, and this time she wouldn't be making the mistake of letting someone else do her dirty work. She was going to die.

Maybe that's why I was never scared, she thought bitterly, her eyes stinging. I was never scared to die because it was never real. It never actually seemed like it was going to happen, not to me. Even when Artemis kidnapped me, he never came anywhere close to killing me. Even when Julius died, it wasn't real. He was just off on an extended vacation. Even when Artemis and I were stuck with the trolls, at least we had some control over what we did. At least we had a chance. Now she has us completely under her foot. What am I going to do if she puts a gun to Trouble's head and tells me to do something horrible? Let her shoot him? Do as she says? Either way, I'll be condemned to a lifetime or more bearing the guilt of some horrible crime

And then the tears were rolling down her cheeks, tracing glinting streaks in the moonlight. Feelings that she had never before admitted even to herself were now showing openly on her face. Hard as she tried, she couldn't stop the tears that fell, fell for herself, for Trouble, for the fate others would meet with if they crossed Koboi, for Foaly… for Artemis, who would surely be lured into a deathly trap with them as the bait.

Then Trouble's arms were around her, hugging her tightly, saying gently, "It's okay, it'll be alright. Don't cry, it's okay…"

She was angry that she had let herself weep. She hadn't cried for years, not since her father died. As close as she had come to death before, she had never lost control as she had now. But she could not stop herself. The glistening tears kept coming.

They stood there for several moments, Holly trying to stop her tears and Trouble murmuring gentle assurances. She finally wiped her eyes and looked at him, eyes burning with fiery determination. She drew away from him and leaned against the wall.

"Holly," Trouble said softly, "I can't promise that we'll be alright, or even that we'll get out of here alive. I won't promise that. But I swear that if you die, I'm going too. I'll be right there with you."

She smiled wanly, feeling something burning within her, a feeling that was strangely pleasurable and terrifying and passionate all at once.

Silence prevailed a few more moments, broken only by the cry of a nightingale that swept past their prison.

"Holly…" Trouble began slowly, and there was a strange glint in his eye.

Fighting past the lump that was still in her throat, she whispered, "What?"

There was a brief pause.

"I love you," he said.

And then he was kissing her, tenderly, passionately, lovingly, and his arms were around her waist and he was drawing her closer, wrapping her once again in his strong embrace. It felt as though their souls were fused as one, and she could feel their magic rushing like a river between them, all around them, through them. He kissed her again, and again, and she kissed him back and knew he was crying and felt his tears on her face, heard him breathing, cherished his gentle and strong touch.

"I love you," he whispered hoarsely, and he kissed her again.

His calloused hand brushed her tears away and caressed her face gently. He buried his face in her hair and inhaled her scent, feeling her body press against his, her hands touching his face, her magic soaring joyously around them, combined with his.

"It can't last," she murmured into his chest. "It won't last."

"I don't care," he whispered, kissing her on the forehead. "Just for this moment. As long as you're mine."

Her lips sought his, and he let his love turn into passion, and he kissed her hard and fiercely.

A noise from somewhere outside of them broke the spell, but neither pulled away. The trapdoor had sprung open, and into their prison like the Merchant of Death came Opal Koboi.

"Touching," she said mockingly.

Trouble drew Holly closer, holding on for precious life. He glared at Koboi. Into the room poured ten or eleven hench-fairies, each armed with a Softnose laser. Ark Sool entered last. A look of disgust flashed across his face as he saw Trouble and Holly, but he didn't do anything other than smirk.

"What do you want?" Trouble demanded roughly, breaking away gently from Holly and stepping between her and the pixie.

Koboi withdrew a Softnose and leveled it at Trouble's head. "You're coming with me."

Trouble glanced over his shoulder at Holly, who had stepped forward angrily. She had a sort of wild beauty about her when her face was tear-stained and her eyes burned savagely. Her voice was hoarse when she spoke, but it had lost none of its usual conviction. "Get out of here, Koboi."

Opal looked at her sardonically. "I hardly think you have the ability to order me about. Boys?"

Eleven Softnose lasers went up to point at Trouble. Holly took a step forward furiously. Trouble cried out in warning as Sool leapt forward and slapped a white adhesive strip on her arm. Holly saw it coming, but too late; the strip made contact. She felt her consciousness fading fast, and as she fell to her knees, her vision began swimming. Trouble rammed his elbows back and caught two of the fairies in the gut, bringing his fist down with a loud _crack_ on the head of a third. He lashed out with his left foot, knocking Sool to the ground, and whirled around to punch two oncoming fairies. He knew he couldn't win; he was facing head-on twelve fairies with Softnoses, and he was entirely unarmed. It didn't take them long to subdue them, but the time they did, half of their number were on the floor, groaning.

As soon as his hands were cuffed behind his back, Sool approached him angrily. "You think too much of yourself, Kelp," he snarled. Without warning, he brought his fist up and slammed it, hard, into his captive's face. Trouble gasped in pain as blood began spurting out of his nose. "Thought you could take on a whole squad of armed fairies, did you?" This time the fist sank into his stomach and he doubled over, unable to breathe. "You're destroyed, Kelp," he said mockingly. "You have no idea what we've got planned for you. You're destroyed."

Trouble straightened slowly, breathing hard. There was blood all over his face and the front of his tunic, but that did not dim the fire that blazed in his eyes, scorching anything at which he directed his gaze. He glared at Sool, smiling in grim defiance. "A man can be destroyed but not defeated," he said quietly. "You will never defeat me, Sool, because of what you are."

"You're going to die, Kelp," Sool said softly. "You will be defeated."

"Death is not the end, nor is it defeat. It is a new beginning... To die will be a great adventure."

Ark Sool spat in his face. Trouble didn't flinch. "You think you can defeat me, then?" the gnome asked derisively.

"Oh, no, Sool, you don't need me," Trouble said softly. "You'll bring about your own destruction, sure enough. You're killing yourself from the inside."

Sool was about to respond, but Opal intervened. "Stop," she commanded, glaring at Sool. "You don't have to argue with him if you know he's wrong." She smiled smugly. "He'll find out soon enough anyway. Take him down."

The barrel of a Softnose jabbed into his back and forced him towards the trapdoor. Opal watched in sadistic satisfaction as he began descending the stairs to meet the doom they had planned for him. However, just before he disappeared, he paused and turned to face her with his flaming blue eyes.

"Never defeated," he whispered, and he vanished.

The words sent chills up Opal's spine.


	8. Chapter 8

'Nuther chapter! does the official update dance I've obviously gotten enough positive responses to feel it worth my time to continue, so that's what I'm doing. Now I won't feel guilty about missing a month. 

And, once again, this chapter is rather short. I'm sorry. It just seemed like such an excellent place to end it, I couldn't pass it up. Plus, I need to work out some minor plot kinks that I've run into.

Different disclaimer this time: I accept no responsibility for any rules of science I break or foul up in trying to explain the technology that is shown in this and later chapters. I'm not a scientist, guys; I've got a C in Chemistry. I don't know if a bullet would leave residue that you could trace to the place it was made. I don't know if light's frequency gets lower the farther it goes. I don't know if a billion little mirrors would reflect enough light from its surrounding atmosphere to make it look like a star. I don't even know if it's physically possible to go out in space half as far as Alpha Centauri. Point is, none of my scientific explanations have any basis in fact. They're completely made up, because I don't have the months it would take to find all of this out. They just sound cool and maybe a little reasonable.

And, by the way, s'not mine.

"I've traced the residue in the bullet that went through the barrel Major Kelp's gun," Foaly said as Artemis walked into the Operations' Booth, looking slightly worn out. Butler, as usual, followed close behind.

"Where's it from?"

"Well, you're not going to believe this…" Foaly chuckled nervously.

"That doesn't sound good."

"Uh… no. It's not."

Artemis waited impatiently.

Foaly pulled up a satellite image of the earth. Artemis stepped closer. "Well?"

The centaur's hooves clacked anxiously on the tiled floor. "Do you see it?"

Artemis looked at him strangely. How was he supposed to see something that far away, even with the most pixels he had ever seen in a computer screen?

"Computer, find waypoint 6627, Opal Koboi's hideout."

To Artemis' surprise, the screen didn't zoom in on the earth. Instead, it showed a distant star, shining brightly in the corner of the screen. "It's on the star?" he asked incredulously. "She found a way to withstand millions of degrees Kelvin?"

"No, dummy," Foaly scowled. Artemis frowned. "Dummy" was not a name that suited him.

Foaly continued. "That's not a star."

"What?" Artemis asked, startled. Maybe the highest IQ score in Europe had gone down a bit since the last time he checked…

Foaly turned to face him. "It's designed to look like a star, constructed with millions of little mirrors that cover its surface. I guess I shouldn't make you feel bad; I didn't know it wasn't a star until the computer pinpointed it as the source of the bullet's residue. In fact, I didn't even believe it until after I'd had a closer look."

"How did you tell it wasn't a star?" he asked, examining it closely.

"I calculated the distance from our sun, and the frequency of the light it emitted seemed awfully low coming from as close as it was—it's about half as far as Alpha Centauri, and that was my first clue, because Alpha Centauri is supposed to be our closest star—which suggested that the light was actually reflected. Then I sent an incredibly high-frequency gamma ray at it, and it bounced back when it would've been absorbed had it been a star."

Butler looked completely lost, but Artemis nodded. "A gamma ray with a frequency high enough to reach two light years? That's amazing…"

"Technology, my dear friend," Foaly said smugly. "Now, this is where the bullet was made. It has traces of a metal in it that I've never seen before."

"What properties does it have?"

"It's hard, incredibly hard. It has a melting point higher than tungsten, of about four thousand. Also…" as strange look crossed the centaur's face.

"What?" Artemis asked apprehensively.

"It's transparent."

"It's what?" said Butler, amazed. "Transparent metal?"

A small smile was spreading over Artemis' face. "Amazing," he muttered, gazing at the computer screen without really seeing it.

"What?" Butler asked.

Artemis shook his head. "She must have found a way to isolate one of the least common ions of another metal," he said slowly. "One that has… odd properties."

"Like transparency," Foaly said.

"So…" Butler said, as if he didn't really want to know, "what does this mean for us?"

Artemis grinned maliciously. Butler didn't like that look.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"When is the pod going to get here?"

Opal Koboi was sitting leisurely in front of a computer in her grand fifteenth-century Spanish palace. The image on the screen displayed her captive's prison cell, and she was watching in pleasure as she watched Holly Short pace restlessly up and down across the trapdoor. The elf was going to pay for what she had done, never to disturb Opal's plans for world domination again.

Ark Sool, however, was annoying her like an abnormally large fly. He just couldn't shut up.

She sighed impatiently and turned to face him. "We're in no hurry, believe me."

"The LEP will be after us any minute. They're going to catch our trail."

"Without Kelp there, they're temporarily leaderless. By the time they get organized, we'll be well out of here."

Ark Sool spun around lazily in his swivel chair to face his partner. "No, they won't," he said matter-of-factly.

Opal Koboi raised her eyebrows. "Really?" she said sardonically. "And why not?"

Sool scowled. "Vinyaya."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

In one of the long, frequently used halls of the Lower Elements Police Academy stands a glass cabinet that spans the entire length of one wall. This case is full of polished trophies, ribbons, and certificates.

In the very center of this glass encasing stands a section apart from all the rest. In it stand seven golden trophies, four ribbons, and two awards. Each bears the emblem of a golden eagle with wings outstretched, situated above a name.

There are two different names in this cabinet. One ribbon, one award, and one trophy are embossed with the name _Holly Short._

The rest bear the engraving:

_Vinyaya._


	9. Chapter 9

I'm back, believe it or not. If anyone still cares. I know from experience that when you take this long of a break between chapters, you tend to lose all your readers. And I know, it's no one's fault but my own. 

This one is dedicated to none other than Trouble Kelp. Why? Because he wasn't mentioned once in Lost Colony. Not _once_. Between nearly four hundred pages, Colfer failed to even bring up someone whose name should be growing more and more prominent—and is so obviously A PERFECT MATCH FOR HOLLY!!!! Four hundred pages, in which No1 was a main character enough, in which Minerva stole half the limelight, but in which Colfer failed to even mention one of my favorite characters! What is this world coming to?!?! 

So, if you're as peeved as I am about the lack of Trouble Kelp in book five and want to rant about it, e-mail me. And if you happen to be Eoin Colfer, you'd better watch where you go after sunset.

Here we go again. I give you… Artemis Fowl: the Underwater Adventure!

Wing Commander Vinyáyá was not a fairy to be trifled with.

On your first day as an officer in the flight section of the LEP, she watched your every move like a hawk. You knew she knew every thing you did wrong. And, of course, you nearly cracked under the strain.

On your first day after being promoted to captain in the flight section of the LEP, she drilled you long and hard on every fact you had ever learned. She picked your brains for the tiniest bit of information that you had been told on some long, boring day learning about the aerodynamics of a shuttle. And, of course, that you had completely forgotten.

But when you got to know her, Vinyáyá was a fierce, shrewd, and loyal friend.

Which is why she was standing before the Council the day after the attack on Police Plaza.

"My friends," she said, fiery determination raging in her steel-gray eyes, "I come before you to ask for command over the Reconnaissance division of the Lower Elements Police. With the uncovering as Ark Sool as a traitor and criminal and the abduction of acting Major Trouble Kelp, one of our most vital departments is rendered leaderless and chaotic. With Opal Koboi on the loose once more and two of our officers missing, it is even more crucial than usual."

Though she was nearing two hundred and fifty, the Wing Commander looked hardly a day older than a century and a half. Her hair was flaming red without any hint of gray, reflecting her blazing conviction. She was tall, nearly three and a half feet, and carried herself with confidence born of being the best shuttle pilot ever to grace the planet. A record only even approached by one Holly Short.

"With Ark Sool gone, Trouble Kelp should be the one to take over," said an old gnome whom Vinyáyá couldn't help but despise. He was far more concerned with his income than anything else in Haven. "He is perfectly capable."

"Or he would be," Vinyáyá remarked dryly, "if he weren't currently at the mercy of public enemies one and two."

"A wise decision may be to wait a few weeks to see if we can rescue him before instating someone else in that position."

"And who's going to do the rescuing? That's the Reconnaissance's job. Which I doubt they will accomplish, seeing as they are in a state of near-anarchy."

"Perhaps Kelp and Short will be able to liberate themselves."

The steel eyes flared. "Perhaps?" she asked quietly. "Forgive me, Your Honor, but I object. As capable and resourceful as these particular officers are, we cannot allow their lives to rest on 'perhaps.' That would be cowardly and disloyal. If you choose to do so, then the LEP is not what it once was or what it professes to be. If you will not send aid to them, I will hand in my resignation this hour."

While the Council may be able to lose two officers in exchange for the finances it would take to find them, it could not afford to lose Vinyáyá. And so, of course, they had no option but to give her control of the Reconnaissance faction.

As she left the council room, Vinyáyá's face was utterly impassive. However, had she allowed her feelings to show, a smug little smile would have flitted across her stern features. She was going to find Trouble and Holly, whatever the cost.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Major Kelp felt the sparks of magic playing through his broken nose to mend it, but he paid them no heed. He focused intently on his surroundings instead, taking in every detail.

They had stripped him of his tunic, leaving him bare-chested, and strapped him to a chrome table, rendering him immobile except for his head. He was in some sort of laboratory, with hundreds of test tubes, scales, balances, burners, pipettes, and the like on various tables and counters. There was a peculiar machine above his head, which was shaped like a box with a control panel on one side, and the function of which he could only guess at. Though he knew it could not be good.

"The shuttle is here." Sool's voice floated to his ears from somewhere nearby. "It'll be fueled and ready to board in half an hour."

"Good." The answering voice belonged to Koboi. "Start the operation, then, but don't rush it. Be careful."

Trouble felt his stomach lurch as he imagined what sort of operation he was about to be subjected to. He wasn't afraid of death, but he didn't particularly relish the idea of torture.

He lifted his head from the cold metal as Sool entered the laboratory, grinning in a frighteningly malevolent way. "Hello, Kelp," he said, or rather, cackled.

"Good to see you too," Trouble muttered, glaring up at the ceiling. "What are you going to do to me?"

The gnome hesitated, then shrugged. "I can't see the harm of explaining it to you while we're getting ready."

Trouble laid his head back down. "Joy."

"You see, Miss Koboi has interests in several different areas."

"Let me guess," Trouble said dryly. "World domination, omnipotence, and immortality."

"Right on. And she had discovered the secret to all three."

Trouble's heart almost stopped. He hadn't been _serious._

"We'll start with immortality. Do you know what mercury is said to do to metals if used in the right way?"

"Turn them into gold, supposedly."

"And when the maker drinks the mercury used to do this, what does it do?"

"Makes him immortal, supposedly."

"Do you know what this is called?"

"Sool, I'm sick of this question and answer session. Just tell me. You think Koboi has discovered the secret to alchemy. That's the immortality. How's she going to conquer the world?"

"With an enormous army."

"Which she is going to get… where?"

Sool smirked. "From you."

Trouble looked sharply at him. He was calmly punching buttons on the control panel on the machine above his head. "What's that supposed to mean?" he demanded.

Sool grinned. "Use your imagination." He pressed a big green button and the machine began to descend towards him. Trouble squirmed slightly, straining against his bonds, but to no avail.

The machine stopped an inch from his face. Slowly, it moved down along his torso, back up again, and then dropped once more to hover above his chest. Then it fell the final inch and latched onto his skin.

A scream tore itself from his throat as a wave of agony hit him. He didn't know what was happening, but it felt like something vital was being sucked out of him. It was horrible. Maybe it was his heart, maybe it was his lungs, maybe it was his soul, but the machine wrenched it out of him, and it _hurt._

And then it was over. Gasping for breath and sweating, Trouble retched, but there was nothing for his stomach to give up, so it was only a dry heave. The machine had detached itself from his skin, and he could see no abrasion, no cut, but something had left his body, and it made him feel empty and horrible.

Sool punched a code and the cuffs that held Trouble's hands to the table released their captive. He rolled onto his side in utter agony, clutching his chest, willing his magic to heal the hole that the machine had made inside him.

That's when he realized what the machine had taken.

His magic was gone.


	10. Chapter 10

Okay, I changed the name because I changed the plot slightly. Not dramatically, just enough that the name didn't quite correspond to what's happening/going to happen. No underwater stuff: we're moving to outer space stuff instead.

By the way, it's not mine. I stole it from Eoin Colfer, though I really think he should just give all the rights to me and let me finish it because he's well on his way to destroying the entire series. I also stole a line from Lion in Winter, a play my friend is in. Thanks, Issy, by the way.

Trouble watched, face screwed up in agony, as Sool opened a little door in the machine and withdrew a small glass box. Inside it danced thousands of blue sparks, sparks that should have been inside his body.

He didn't understand. He had run out of magic before, used all of it. Julius had yelled at him on that particular occasion. His pride may have been injured, but no more than that. Many fairies, like Mulch Diggums, had lost the ability to do magic entirely, and it didn't seem to affect them. Maybe it was losing it all at once, or maybe it was that it had been stolen from him, but he felt it missing. It was as if a hole had opened up in his body, and it hurt like a tangible wound.

Sool placed the box in a padded bag, picked up a syringe from the counter, and lifted Trouble's hand. He tried to fight it, but he had no energy. Sool jabbed it into the vein in his arm.

He winced as the syringe withdrew his blood, but at least he wasn't being poisoned. As soon as Sool had placed the blood in a small test tube and stopped it with a rubber cork, he tossed Trouble a sleeveless black tunic.

"Put it on," he commanded.

Trouble sat up and pulled it over his head. Sool put his blood sample in the bag with the glass case, zipped it up, and yelled for one of his henchfairies to come get it. Three of them poured into the room. One picked up the bag, and one picked up a pair of cuffs and snapped them over Trouble's wrists. Sool muttered something to them, and they grabbed Trouble's shoulders and pulled him off the table. His legs nearly crumpled beneath him, but he managed to retain his feet.

"Take him to the shuttle," Sool commanded. "Move, Kelp."

Trouble felt the barrel of a gun poke into his back. He moved.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Holly had been awakened and groggily led outside into the fresh air. It was nearly three in the morning, judging by the position of the moon, and they were on a barren expanse of land that was bordered by the sea on one side and a range of rocky mountains on the other. The only signs that anyone had been there were a huge twelfth-century castle—in which they had been imprisoned—and what looked like an alien spaceship from the Mudmen movies parked outside. It was as big around as the Roman Coliseum and at least three stories high. It was huge.

"Wow," Holly said blearily to her captors as they led her up to it. "Where're we going?"

One of them, another gnome covered in tattoos and with violently pink hair, shrugged. "They don't tell us anything," he said bitterly.

"Oh."

As they approached the thing that looked like a spaceship, a walkway opened from the bottom with a pneumatic hiss. Just like the Mudmen movies.

They took her onboard. It looked so much like something out of Star Wars that she half expected to see Han Solo and Chewbacca sitting at a console, typing in commands. However, instead of Han and Chewie, she found Opal Koboi.

Koboi grinned maliciously as they escorted her to a sort of cell that looked more like a janitorial closet than anything. After taking off the handcuffs, they locked her in and turned off the light.

Holly, cursing that she couldn't see anything, felt around for someway to escape. But of course, her captor was Koboi. There was no escape.

It felt like hours before she heard anything other than a soft hum that seemed to come from all around her. Footsteps were approaching her cell.

"Oi!" she shouted, pounding on the door. "I gotta use the—"

The door was flung open, knocking her back into the cell. Two other fairies, silhouetted by the light outside shoved a third handcuffed form in after her and slammed the door once more.

"Captain?" said a soft voice from the other side of the cell.

"Trouble," she breathed. She felt her way over until she practically walked into him.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

Holly was fine, and she started to say so, but she heard something in his voice that hadn't been there the last time she'd heard it. Pain.

"What's wrong?" she asked. "What did they do?"

Her eyes had adjusted to the dark; she could see his dim outline shaking its head. He remained silent.

She reached out and touched his forehead; it was hot and sweaty. "What did she do to you?" she demanded. "Tell me, Major, or—with all due respect—I'll punch your face in."

Trouble chuckled wanly. "You sound like Julius."

"I am like Julius," she informed him. "And you know what he did whenever someone didn't do as he said."

"Looked as though he were about to have a heart attack? Somehow, Holly, I can't see you earning the nickname 'Beetroot.'"

"I'm flattered. Now, I'm not kidding. What happened?"

"I… Holly, I don't know. Sool had a machine that pressed against my chest and sucked all my magic out. I've been out of magic before, and it hasn't felt anything like this. I feel horrible."

Holly was blindly trying various number combinations for Trouble's handcuffs, but to no avail. Apparently Koboi had learned her lesson from the last time she had tried to kill Holly and Artemis. She paused when he finished. "He took your magic? Why?"

Trouble shook his head slowly. "What if she's figured out someway to become… omnipotent?"

Holly scowled, though Trouble couldn't see it in the dark of the closet. "She hasn't."

His back tensed as he leaned over and pressed his forehead against the cool metal of the wall. "I don't know. Sool seemed pretty confident that she had."

Holly let out a low growl. "Then I'm going to wipe that confident smirk off his face and convince him that she hasn't. With my fist."

Trouble smiled. "You'd better not die, Captain," he told her dryly. "If nothing else, you make us laugh."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The People had made one excursion into space. In 44 B.C., they had developed a shuttle that would reach to the edge of the solar system. Unfortunately, the Mudmen had spotted the launching and thought it to be a bad omen. They took it to mean that Julius Caesar would be a bad ruler of Rome, and consequently, they stabbed him to death. The People had abandoned their dreams of space after that.

"Can you make it work?" Artemis asked, gazing at the image that had popped up on the computer screen.

"Not since Julius Caesar looked down in bewilderment to see his best friend's sword sticking out of his gut and asked 'You too, Brutus?' has there been a stupider question," Foaly answered, grinning. "Fasten your seatbelts, ladies and gentlemen. We're in for one heck of a ride."


	11. Chapter 11

Alright, now that they're coming out with an Artemis Fowl movie, I figure I oughta put in my two cents. Here's what I think the cast should be. Holly: Julia Roberts, Artemis: Tom Felton, Butler: John Malkovich, Trouble: Christian Bale (or maybe Hugh Jackman… he looks more like how I imagine Trouble, but I think Christian Bale would be better actor-wise), Root: Tom Clancy, Foaly: Robin Williams (who else? I mean, c'mon…). While I don't think that anyone except Robin Williams and Christian Bale could possibly do these roles justice, I think they're the best choices. In fact, I think they should just stick with not making a movie.

Anyway, it's not mine. Duh. I present to you… chapter… what was it? 10? 11? Forget it. I present to you… (drum roll please)… chapter whatever is next!

Naturally, the first fairy Vinyáyá went to was Foaly.

If one wanted anything done that had anything to do with technology, one went to Foaly. It was so standard that it should almost have been a rule in the Book: 'if thou hast a technological issue, thou shalt visit Foaly the centaur.' Vinyáyá had learned this very quickly after entering the LEP. Even when he was only half a century old—barely out of school—everyone came to him with technical difficulties. Having patented over a hundred and fifty inventions, no one could do better than Foaly the centaur.

Which was why, when Vinyáyá's mouth dropped open upon seeing the plans on his computer screen, he was at a loss to understand why she was so shocked.

"C'mon, Commander," he said exasperatedly. "You couldn't possibly expect me to stay away from something like this. I couldn't. I was jumping to try some new stuff on it. You know I have to tinker with anything I can get my hands on."

"Yes," she stammered, "but I didn't think you'd manage to hijack a whole spaceship."

"I haven't hijacked it," he said, turning back to face his computer. "Not yet."

"If the Council finds out about this—"

"You know they won't fire me."

"I don't know, Foaly. This might be going one step too far."

"They don't have Koboi to go to anymore. If they lose me, the LEP is going down the drain."

"How do you plan on getting it out of its storage building, onto the surface, and into space without being seen?"

"How do you think they got it in there?"

"I would have thought that they dissembled it and then put it back together once it was in the storage basement, but just the fact that you asked that question is making me think otherwise."

He chortled. "You know me too well, Commander."

"I daresay I do," she muttered dryly.

He pretended not to hear her. "The floor was made intentionally so that in can be lowered further into the ground, and from there there's a track that it can be rolled along and set up on a launch pad from the E1 chute. I hardly have to do anything more than push a button."

"What if I decide to tell the Council?" she asked him, raising her eyebrows.

He smiled slightly. "They wouldn't be able to find my files. I've made them completely untouchable without my voice. If they look at the ship and compare it to the old blueprints, they'll find that it matches them exactly, thanks to my ingenious computer-hacking skills, as if no moderations have been made. They'll refute your claim, and probably stick you back on traffic control." He smirked. "And besides, quite the opposite of ratting me out, you're going to help me."

She raised her eyebrows. "Oh, yes? And why is that?"

"Because that's what you're here for. You want to get Holly—er, Captain Short and Major Kelp out of there as much as I do. And you know that what I'm doing is entirely for that purpose."

"Are you sure that tinfoil hat doesn't enable you to read minds?"

He glanced disparagingly at her. "No, but that's my newest idea I'm working on—"

"Okay," she said loudly. "Don't brief me on it now. Just tell me what I need to do."

Foaly, making some adjustment or other on his computer screen with his tongue sticking out the corner of his mouth, said distractedly, "I'll need you to fly it, for one thing. The only other person I'd trust to do so is Captain Short, and she's rather incapable of doing so right now. And I need you to have E1 completely free for two hours in seven days from now."

"Anything else?"

"Well, you could bring me a bag of carrots and a Starbuck's Torrefazione Italia…"

She kicked the base of his rolling chair and he found himself belly-up on his floor, gazing up at her grinning face. "I'll see what I can do."

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you and Holly were related," he grumbled, heaving himself up. He considered setting off his plasma tiles as she walked out, but he decided he needed her more awake than comatose.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

One week, and then it was ready.

Artemis, who had stayed in Haven's most prestigious hotel for seven nights, much to the dismay of its owners, was back in the Operations Booth by ten o' clock that night. The chute wouldn't be clear for another hour, but he wanted to make sure they had plenty of time.

Foaly gave him and Butler modified LEP suits and helmets. "Almost anything you've seen Holly do," he said, cinching the strap around Artemis' chest, "you can too. Vinyáyá will brief you on the controls and give you a pair of wings. I had to push a lot of buttons to get you this stuff," he added, apparently deciding that Butler could put on his own suit, because he didn't cinch his chest strap. "And it's taken all week to modify it right. Especially for you, Butler, my friend."

"Thanks," Butler grunted. "It's a bit short around the legs."

"Sorry. Your own fault you're nearly seven feet tall. Now, the chute will be clear from midnight to two o' clock. I'll go to the storage basement with you and get it ready to launch, and Vinyáyá will take over from there. There aren't any seats designed for centaurs in there. I'll be here in your helmets with you. Artemis, are you sure this plan will work?"

He shrugged. "No."

"That's reassuring," said a voice from the doorway. Vinyáyá had just arrived.

"There's always some weakness in every plan. The chances of its success are directly relative to the chances of someone exploiting it or making some sort of blunder."

"So basically, no one had better mess up."

"Simply put, yes."

"What are the chances of it succeeding?"

Artemis frowned. "Well, it depends on the defenses of the station. I doubt there will be much because Koboi won't be expecting any kind of infiltration two light years out in space. However, if there is some, it'll be hard to get through it without causing a commotion."

"Let's just hope there isn't."

"Your suit," Foaly interrupted, "will enable you to go into an area with no atmosphere for about an hour. If you come back into a pressurized, oxygen rich area, it'll automatically begin recalibrating and filling your oxygen reserves. It's equipped with a pressure equalizer, compressed oxygen, temperature regulation, electromagnetic radiation shielding, particle radiation shielding, micrometeoroid protection, and, of course, a propelling system and maneuvering device. It's basically like a mini spaceship."

Artemis let out a low whistle. "You designed all this in a week?"

"Actually," Foaly said guiltily, "I've been thinking about outer space excursions for a while now, and since I didn't have permission to use the space shuttle, I started by designing suits. All I had to do was get them made."

"And you've made all the necessary modifications to the space shuttle?" Vinyáyá asked, looking through the printouts of the blueprints.

"Yes. Stealth coverage, magnetic docking clamps, high-power plasma bullets, faultless mufflers, updated communications system, and, of course, a top speed of more than thirty-five hundred times the speed of light. And that should get you there within five hours."

"Wow," Artemis said. "The fastest thing I've every made only went two-hundred and forty-three point thirty-seven times the speed of light. That's amazing."

"Someday, my young friend, the Mudmen's world will reach the technology level ours has. And by then, the People will have colonized other planets."

They took a cop car to the storage basement, telling the owner that a new policy said that the LEP was supposed to do an inventory once every six months of everything in the storage areas. He looked suspiciously at Butler and Artemis; Foaly assured him that they were agents for the LEP who worked at the surface for most of the time, but were down here for a brief break in their work. As they passed, Foaly muttered, "Stupid gnome."

And there it was, looming in front of them. Not so much looming as sitting, Artemis thought, surprised. It was barely the size of a large van, though far more aerodynamic in shape and high-tech in appearance. Foaly quickly hacked into the computer system that controlled the entire workings to the space shuttle and lowered the floor. He pressed another button and a platform powered by pneumatics raised the shuttle up and tipped it slightly, so that it rolled forward and into a long track that disappeared into a tunnel. Artemis, Butler, and Vinyáyá jogged after it as it rolled slowly down to a docking port in E1, a chute so large you could drop a mountain down it and it wouldn't even bump the sides.

A sudden thought occurred to Artemis. "Where do you get enough energy to fire it all the way into space?" he asked Foaly into his helmet mike.

"From the flares. It builds up pressure, and we capture and release it when we're ready to launch."

"That means we'll be going right before a flare," Artemis said worriedly. "We'll be fried."

"The shuttle is mostly heat resistant, so unless you get caught in the actual flare, you'll be fine. And your pilot is the best shuttle pilot in LEP history, even including Holly."

Artemis glanced at Vinyáyá. She was meticulously inspecting the shuttle. "I'm trusting you, Foaly. That's not something I would do with very many other beings, human or fairy."

"Other beings, namely Butler and Holly," Foaly said dryly. "I'm flattered."

Vinyáyá straightened up, obviously satisfied. "Not bad for something that was built in 44 BC," she said, punching in a code on the keypad outside. A hatch on the top opened with a pneumatic hiss. "Ladies first," she said, motioning to Artemis to get in. He ignored the jibe and clambered up the side of the shuttle and down into the hole. He dropped, landing rather painfully, inside.

Butler followed, rather more spryly, and finally came Vinyáyá. She confidently settled herself into the pilot's seat.

"Have you ever flown one of these before?" Butler asked apprehensively.

"Nope," she said happily. "Don't need to."

Artemis and Butler simultaneously reached for their restraining belts.

She was right, however, she had no need to whatsoever. She pushed a button, and the docking machinery outside tipped them up on end, so that the nose was pointing towards the distant sky.

"The flare's coming in two minutes and twenty-five seconds. That means you're of in one minute and twenty-five seconds.

Vinyáyá buckled her helmet strap, tightened her fastening harness, and settled down to wait.

"Ten…" Foaly said… "Five… four… three…"

A pressure gage, one of the few instruments in front of the pilot's seat that Artemis recognized, was rising rapidly.

"Two…."

He gripped the sides of his chair…

"One!"

It was lucky (or more likely, by some ingenious design of Foaly's) that the seats had headrests, or Artemis' neck would have been snapped backwards by the force of the launch. Had he been calm enough to watch the speedometer, he would have seen that they quickly rose above one light-year per hour… twenty light-years per hour… three hundred….

And then, barely seconds after they launched, they were in utter blackness, and Artemis, though he knew they were moving, couldn't tell.

They were in outer space.


	12. Chapter 12

LAST CHAPTER!!!!

I know it seems like an abrupt ending, but a lot happens in this one. A lot a lot. It's nineteen pages! I think I just doubled the size of the story! I'm sorry to see it end, in a way, but happy as well—no more having to worry about updating! I can now focus entirely on Lord of Darkness and not stress out about two fanfics at once.

Disclaimer: all recognizable characters, places, objects, et cetera belong to Eoin Colfer. And I'm not Eoin Colfer. Newsflash, I know. 

And, since this is my last chapter, here're my acknowledgements: thanks first of all to Eoin Colfer for so graciously letting me steal his story, though I don't much appreciate his ruining the last two books. Thank you Refloc, who was the first to review this, and to everyone else who reviewed. And lastly, thanks to Mackenzie, who hasn't really reviewed this one, but it's really only when I met her that I realized I had a passion for writing. I wouldn't have written this at all if it weren't for her. 

And now, I present to you the final chapter, Chapter 12, of Artemis Fowl: the Galactic Adventure!

Holly didn't know where they were. She assumed it was somewhere far from Earth, if the spaceship had been any indication, but where "far from Earth" was, she had absolutely no idea. She'd tried to ask the guards who had taken her out of her and Trouble out of the closet-cell-thing, but they had stayed grumpy and silent, hauling her back out of the belly of the craft. They had emerged inside of an enclosed sort of hangar, as big as four normal jet hangars. It was enormous. Holly, prodded along by several Softnose lasers, couldn't help but gaze around in awe. "What is this place?" she had asked. Had Koboi managed to sustain life on some other planet?

They had put them in an elevator, ridden up who knew how many floors, and emerged in a long, softly-lit hallway. It looked like a spaceship out of Star Wars. Their guards had punched in a code, and a door slid open with hardly a sound. The barrel of a gun poked into her back and forced her forward. The door shut after them.

"Holly," Trouble said quietly, "I've been thinking…"

"A dangerous pastime," she remarked dryly, sitting down against a wall.

He ignored her. "Sool said that somehow Koboi planned on getting an enormous army to further her plans for world domination. When I asked where she was going to get it, he said it would be from me."

"From you? Does he think you're suddenly going to spawn a million babies like a fish or something?"

"He took a sample of my blood."

"So?"

"So put two and two together! They need a huge army, they want to get it fast, they say it's going to be from me, and they took a sample of my blood!"

"I've never been good at math. What are you trying to say?"

He exhaled slowly. "What if they're going to clone me?"

She balked at first, but then she remembered; Opal Koboi had created an exact, comatose clone of herself, and it hadn't taken that long. "Maybe she's perfected it…"

"Let's hope not," Trouble said fervently, sitting next to her and putting his head in his hands. "How're we going to get out of here?"

Holly had noticed a slight bump underneath her. Quizzically, she felt it. It had been wedged in the small crack between the floor and the wall, and she yanked it free and brought it up to eyelevel.

It was a small silver pin in the shape of an eagle. Two words were written across the wingspan in Gnomish. _Commander Vinyáyá._

A slow grin began to spread across her face. "I think someone already has that covered."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Butler, rather disgruntled in his smaller-than-comfortable LEP suit, was very irritable. He was running out of oxygen, and he still hadn't found the weakness that Foaly assured him was there. If he didn't locate it soon, he was going to have to maneuver himself back to the shuttle.

Like a dwarf's skin, their suits had a porous surface that could be activated with a spoken command. It stuck the wearer to whatever was nearest. In this case, thousands of small mirrors that formed the curve of an enormous sphere. A sphere that could have held all of London and Paris inside it. It was like an enormous disco ball. And apparently, there was one weak spot.

All Foaly had needed was a visual shot of the manmade planet, and then he could draw up a blueprint for it, locate any living beings inside (there were a lot), and trace every computer file that had been stored in it. Within ninety seconds he had ascertained that the weakest point of its surface was a garbage chute that was little more than seven feet wide—nothing in relation to the rest of the ship. Apparently, though, the garbage chute led to every floor.

The space station was designed, he told them, rather like the layers of a planet. There was a center, in which a machine that imitated gravity was situated, and then the floors spread out from the center: the first floor, with the greatest gravitational pull, was around the middle of it, the second floor around that, and so on. And there were five-hundred and sixty-three floors. The garbage chute cut straight through all of them.

"How did she manage to build all this?" Vinyáyá had asked in awe.

The visual image of Foaly in all their helmets' visors shrugged. "Excellent question. Why don't you ask her?"

And of course, Butler had been designated with the task of finding this chute and climbing through it.

"Now," Artemis had explained quietly, back in their hotel room in Haven, "our main goal is to get Holly and Major Kelp out of there. However, if Koboi has discovered the secret to alchemy, we want to get that, too. You're going to have to find the generator that powers the station and wrap this-" he held up a length of bare wire with a small computer on one end- "around one of the wires inside it. Then I'll have control of the entire station's power. Then you'll have to find Holly and the Major and make your way to whatever kind of hangars they have. Foaly will be able to tell you where they are. If you can't find them, go to the hangars anyway."

"What are you going to do?"

"Find Koboi."

"And how will that help?"

"You'll see."

So now Butler was clambering around on the surface of this huge sphere, looking for a four-foot opening. It was like finding a needle in a haystack.

He closed his eyes for a brief moment as Foaly talked to him. "It's straight ahead. Keep going."

"You keep saying that," Butler said through gritted teeth, pulling himself onward once more, "but I keep not finding it."

And then he found it. He was at the edge of a chute that seemed to plunge down into eternity. "This is it?" he asked skeptically?"

"Yup."

"And I have to go down there?"

"Yes. I found a file that says the Major and Captain are on the sixtieth floor."

"Which means I have to go down five hundred and three floors."

"No, you have to go down all five-hundred and sixty-three, turn of the power to the entire station, and then come back up to get them."

"Do I get to take the elevator from there?"

"No. You get to climb back up."

"That's great news. I guess I'll start crawling, then."

"Yes. The garbage chute is the only place they have reversed the gravitational effect. That way the garbage falls out of the space station and not back to the core. At least you won't have gravity working against you."

"No," he grunted, heaving himself over the side. The mini suction cups on his suit held him well, and he began to work his way down.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Vinyáyá was very dissatisfied with her part of the plan. All she was supposed to do was infiltrate the hangar, knock out the communications system, and hold tight until they got there. And she wasn't even supposed to do that for another half an hour.

Artemis had given them all watches that were set for exactly the same time. "I've allowed plenty of time for everything," he told them, "but when you do something, it has to be at the exact second I tell you to do it. It'll all work out perfectly if you do, but if you're more than a second off, everything could be a disaster."

"Joy," Vinyáyá had muttered, snapping it on her wrist.

Foaly had carefully instructed her around the few cameras they had posted around the surface. She had landed the shuttle gently on the mirrors, each of which reflected enough light that the thing as a whole gave the appearance of a star when one was far enough away. It was disconcerting, seeing her own reflection all over the place.

"Why didn't Artemis tell us all everything?" she grumbled for the hundredth time. She had no idea what the other two were doing.

"He thinks it's safer and that it'll go better if not everyone knows the whole thing," said Foaly's voice in her ear.

"I know that," she snapped. "But I hate just sitting here, waiting. What if they're already dead?"

"They're not."

"How do you know?"

"Because I've located their cell, and the heat sensors I have in all of your helmets tell me that there are two beings giving off heat of exactly the same size and shape as the captain and the major."

"That's good to know," she muttered irritably. "Did you get my badge in their cell?"

"Yes, and by the looks of it, Holly's found it."

"How'd you get it in?"

"I invented a new device. It'll revolutionize the Lower Elements. It's like a portal. It makes things appear and disappear to and from where you want them.

"Wow."

"Artemis helped."

"You mean he invented it?"

The centaur grumbled grudgingly, "Okay, yes. But I helped."

"So can he do it?"

"His suit is equipped with it."

"But mine's not?"

"Gimme a break, Commander, I don't have that kind of a budget."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

He was at the very bottom of the chute. There was a grate there, and, with very little effort, Butler removed it from his place and climbed in.

"Congratulations," Foaly said dryly. "You've made it to ground zero."

It was like being inside a large sphere. In the center floated two giant machines, back to back.

"The one on your left is the generator," Foaly told him. "The other is the gravity-imitation machine. It's what keeps everything on the ground in this station."

Butler felt the gravity machine pulling on him, hard, but the suction in his suit withstood it. "How do I get there?" he yelled over the noise that the machines made. "It's in the middle, and if my suit lets go of the wall, the gravity machine will suck me in!"

"There's a piton on your belt that'll attach firmly to any surface. Put it on the wall and clip the other end to your belt. Then press the green button on the belt end and hold it. It'll reel you out slowly, keeping you attached to the wall."

Butler did as he was told and found himself next to the gravity machine very soon. He pushed hard towards the generator, reached into its inner workings, and twisted the wire around two of the other cords. There was an electric blue spark, and the computer on the end fired into action.

"Now press the red button," Foaly commanded. "That'll reel you back in."

Once back at the wall, he climbed out of the hole, snatching the grate out of the air where it had been floating and replacing it.

"Time to climb," Foaly said.

"Yippee."

It took him a while, but Butler was finally at floor sixty three. Every ten feet or so along the shaft was a chute branching off from it, presumably to channel garbage from every floor into the main chute. It worked; more than once was Butler nearly hit by flying garbage. The garbage dropped, presumably to the very bottom of the shaft, and then was blown back up with enough force to defy the gravity that pulled it down, and it fell out of the space station. Butler learned this very quickly; the first time garbage had fallen past him, he hugged the wall, and he was about to continue when Foaly got pale and said, "Flatten yourself against the side, fast!"

Indeed, a second later, the garbage shot past him at nearly the speed of a bullet. It would have killed him had it hit him.

He hauled himself into the narrow chute that Foaly said would emerge on floor sixty. "You're feeding the cameras a loop?" he muttered.

"Yes," the centaur assured him. "They won't notice a thing until you're on top of them."

"Who's manning the station?"

"Not very many people for the size of this thing. One per floor. All you have to do is sneak up on the poor fairy on this floor and lay him low a couple of hours. No one will notice a thing."

Butler painfully hauled himself through the last section of the chute and unfolded his body from the opening. He found himself in a softly-lit hallway. "Their cell is at the end of it," Foaly informed him. "There's a keypad outside the door. If you take off the covering and connect your helmet to any two of the wires, it'll automatically try all trillion and a half possibilities. Won't take more than a minute."

"Amazing," he muttered, doing as he was instructed as he came to the door. The door, after barely twenty seconds, slid open with a pneumatic hiss.

"D'Arvit!" Foaly and Butler swore simultaneously. The cell was empty, save for two tiny devices on the floor. "My heat sensor says that's where Holly and Trouble are," the centaur said, swearing. "The devices must be emitting heat in the exact forms of their bodies."

"Ingenious," Butler said, cursing. "What do we do now?"

"What did Artemis tell you to do?"

"Continue to the hangars."

"Then you can bet Artemis has got a backup plan. Go ahead to the hangars."

"Can I take the elevator this time?"

Foaly rolled his eyes. "I suppose so. Just try not to attract too much attention."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

No more than a few hours had passed before Sool's henchfairies came to get them again. The door slid open. Holly, who had been expecting Vinyáyá, jumped up in anticipation, but when she found herself staring at the ugly mugs of four heavily-tattooed sprites, her hope faded and she frowned. "Get out of here, you slimy, toad-faced, goblin-spawned weasels."

They paid her no heed. As two of them prodded Holly and Trouble out of the cell, another placed two small disks where they had been sitting.

"What do you reckon those're for?" she asked Trouble in a whisper.

He shrugged. "Place warmers? So our spots are warm when we get back?"

"Doubt it."

Something troubling occurred to Trouble. "We might have a slight problem," he whispered.

"Why is that?"

"What if Koboi knows Vinyáyá's here and she's moving us in order to catch Vinyáyá?"

"That wouldn't be good," she whispered after a brief moment of silence.

"We need to warn her somehow," Trouble said musingly. The fairies behind them were looking at them suspiciously, unable to hear their whispered conversation.

Holly nodded barely perceptibly. Trouble started trying to concoct a plan, but Holly didn't bother. She tripped and went sprawling.

"Ow," she said. Sool's henchfairies stopped irritably.

"Get up," one of them started to say, but Holly's foot had made contact with his groin. He doubled over in pain, and Holly snatched his weapon from him, sliding the lever down to 'stun' and blasting all four fairies with it. They thudded to the ground.

Trouble looked at her blankly. "Wow."

She picked up another Softnose and stuck it in her belt. "C'mon," she said, heading towards the elevator. "Let's go find Koboi."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Artemis was hovering, shielded, just above Koboi's head. They were in a huge room with hundreds of desks lined up against the walls, with several fairies working at them. She was walking behind them, making them nervous and jumpy and thoroughly enjoying it. She had no idea he was there. He had gotten a hang of the Hummerboy Wings (ironically, one of Opal's inventions) coming in; his suit, amazingly, had transported himself from one place to another with no wait time. Teleportation.

He considered simply dropping down and attacking her, but then he would have to fight his way through a hundred other fairies, even if he overcame her. _My best weapons are surprise and fear,_ he reminded himself. He had never done anything like this before, and he wasn't sure he was ready. _You have to be a good actor. Pretend you have all the aces. Scare her into a corner. If you can do that, then you _do_ have all the aces._

In his left hand he held a small remote control, and in his right he held a Neutrino 3000, set to 'kill.' Gritting his teeth, he cocked it.

The sound made Koboi looked up, as he had known it would. He turned off his shield. "Hello, Opal," he said quietly.

What he did not expect, however, is that she would smile smugly at him. "Welcome, Fowl," she said, baring her sharp pixie teeth.

Artemis regained his composure very quickly. He aimed the gun pointedly at her heart. "You know what I'm here for."

"Yes, I do, actually. You want my prisoners."

"No," Artemis smiled. "I don't. I interest your prisoners. You can kill them, for all I care."

Foaly, listening and watching, started swearing at him. "This had better be good, Fowl," he said angrily in his ear.

"Yes, in fact, I'd like to see them die," Artemis continued. "They've been nothing but a nuisance for the last three years."

Koboi couldn't hide her surprise. "Then why are you here?" she demanded, rising to his level, pixie wings beating furiously.

"I've come to accept what I declined a year ago," he said slowly.

"What are you talking about, Fowl?"

"I'm talking about the offer you made me. You said we could work together. Well, I declined then because that's what was best for me then. I'd like to accept now because it's best for me now."

"What makes you think I want to work with you?"

"Because I know things that you don't. About the Mudmen. I am friends with the LEP; I have their confidence. I can be an asset to you."

"And what do you want in return?"

"Just this space station. You can have the world all to yourself, but I want the space station."

"Tempting," she smirked. "While I'm thinking about it, why don't we call in my prisoners? I have a delightful game for them to play in the hangar. Frollo, they should be waiting out in the hall with some of the others. Go fetch them, and take them to the hangar. Come with me, Fowl. You'll have your wish of seeing Captain Short and Major Kelp die… very painfully."

The fairy named Frollo left. Koboi led him to an elevator, which sped them along towards the hangar, wherever that was. "Don't think I trust you, Fowl," she said, smiling coldly. "And don't think I've forgiven you for what you've done to me. I just think it might be to my advantage to keep you around for a while."

"You'd be a fool to trust me."

They stepped out of the elevator and into a gigantic room in which was stored a space ship as big as the Roman Coliseum. Nearly fifty fairies were attending the different parts of the spaceship and hangar, fixing things, making moderations, etc. Artemis tried not to look to awed. He needed to look bored and confident.

They had only been waiting a minute or so when the fairy Frollo appeared behind them. "Er… madame?" he said timidly. "They're not there. Whatever fairies you sent to get them have not returned."

Koboi's expression changed instantly from pleasure to hardly-contained anger. "Where are they?" she asked through gritted teeth.

He cowered. "I'll find them, madame. I'll find them."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Ten fairies stepped out of the elevator just as Captain Short and Major Kelp rounded the corner. Holly groaned as they got over their surprise and charged at them.

"Get a hold of the one with a gold headband. He's the captain."

Holly met the wave, wishing she had LEP weaponry and equipment. She knocked two fairies out with blows to the head. She had shot a third and was about to shoot a fourth, when Trouble roared, "STOP!!"

All commotion ceased. There were only four fairies left on their feet. Trouble had his arm around their captain's neck and his gun, set to kill, aimed at his head. "Tell them to put down their weapons," he hissed at the fairy.

"Do as he says," the fairy squeaked.

They put down their weapons.

He nodded at Holly. "Pick them up and disarm them. Then give them back."

Holly removed the power cells and handed each of the still-standing fairies a now-useless Softnose laser. She grinned, pointing her own fully functional Softnoses at them.

"Now," Trouble said, kicking his captive, "listen closely…"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Butler surveyed the situation. It didn't look good, in his opinion.

He had taken the elevator most of the way up to the hangar, then crawled through ventilation shafts the rest of the way. He now looked down on the hangar through a grate in a corner near the ceiling. "What's going on?" Butler whispered to Foaly.

"I'm not entirely sure," Foaly said, disgruntled. "The only person to whom Artemis told his whole plan was himself, and he's not answering me."

"What's happened?"

"Basically, he offered to join Koboi, and while she's thinking about it, she's going to have Trouble and Holly killed for the fun of them both."

"You mean Artemis' fun?"

"Yes, Artemis is going along with it. You'd better hope he's acting, big boy, or your charge is going to have some major crimes to answer for."

"He's acting," Butler said confidently. "What am I supposed to do from here?"

The image of Foaly in his helmet visor shrugged. "I don't know. Ask the genius."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"I must say," Artemis said dryly, "I was surprised at your reaction. I thought you'd be completely shocked to see me appear out of thin air beside you."

"I knew you were there, Mudboy," she said, turning to him and grinning. "Guess what else I know? Your big old friend is sneaking around my space station, and you have someone else flying your shuttle. I'm just trying to decide whether your elaborate trick is against me or against the people with you. Basically, are you betraying them or lying to me?"

Artemis nodded. "An excellent question."

"What is the answer?"

"Well, I'd tell you, of course, that I'm really on your side. But, of course, you can't trust my word, so it doesn't matter anyway."

"Why can't I trust your word?"

He raised his eyebrows. "I'm the youngest thief in the history of the world. I've transferred money from Swiss Bank accounts into mine, I've robbed multibillionaire Jon Spiro of his status and company, I've stolen the most coveted painting in the business, the Fairy Thief, I've plundered Fort Knox, and I've robbed the fairy people of their gold. I'm not to be trusted, Opal. You know that."

"Plundered Fort Knox?" Foaly asked irritably. "Since when?"

"I take it your communications device is off," Opal said slyly. "Otherwise you're transmitting this entire conversation to Foaly the centaur."

"But of course, if I were lying to you," Artemis said matter-of-factly, "that wouldn't matter because I wouldn't be betraying them, so he could know about all this."

"So basically, the best way to find out if you're lying to me is to see if your communications are cut," she said, and snatched his helmet off his head.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Butler," Foaly said in his ear, "Artemis doesn't have his helmet on. Make sure he's not a target for anyone in the room."

Butler, who had already found three fairies with sniper rifles, said, "Of course he's a target. There's just nothing I can do about it without ruining his plan."

"Take them out on your silent setting."

Butler took careful aim, and the three fairies dropped unconscious. Koboi, fortunately, was too busy examining Artemis' helmet to notice.

"What's that?" Foaly asked.

Butler had noticed it, too. Simultaneously, he and Foaly swore. Six fairies had entered from the elevator. Four of them had guns pointed at the other two. The other two were Holly and Trouble.

"Let the fun begin," Foaly said sarcastically.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Just as Artemis put his LEP helmet back on, Koboi having examined it and found he wasn't communicating with Foaly (the centaur had made it a blind surveillance system, so that if he wanted to, he could flick a switch and no one looking at the helmet could tell it had any connections outside itself), Holly and Trouble were led in at gunpoint. Holly's eyes widened when she saw Artemis, standing unguarded next to Koboi, but other than shooting him a furious glance, she paid him no heed. This was the most vital stage of operations: if something failed now, everything would be lost.

He turned to Koboi. "What kind of game do you have planned for them?"

She grinned wickedly. "You'll see."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Vinyáyá gazed at her watch. Artemis said that the door to the hangar would open when it was time, and Foaly said that this was the section that opened to reveal the hangar. She was hovering several hundred feet from where Foaly said the door was. It was supposed to open any second now, though how Artemis planned on doing it, she had no idea…

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Holly didn't want to know what kind of game Koboi had planned for them. What she did want to know, however, was what Artemis was doing. She wasn't sure she trusted him enough to say that he was playing a part, pretending to have sided with Koboi. Apparently Trouble thought the same thing—they glanced at each other.

"Now?" she whispered.

"Not yet."

Their weapons were hidden in the loose folds of their clothing. The guns that were pointed at them were actually useless. The real situation was opposite what it appeared: Holly and Trouble were leading the fairies in on pain of death instead of the other way around. Their fairy escorts stopped them in front of Koboi.

"You, Captain Short," she said, teeth glittering, "have hurt me too many times to let you live, or indeed, even to die quickly. You will die slowly and painfully."

"The last time you tried that, you ended up in prison, and I was still alive." Holly said dryly.

"This time you'll end up dead," Trouble added.

She clicked her tongue. "Impertinent cheeks, aren't they, Fowl?"

"Oh, yes, very impertinent."

"Incredibly impudent," Holly agreed, nodding. "Look, Opal, we've got a proposition to make you."

"And what is that?"

"Let us go and we'll spare your life."

She actually laughed out loud. "What are you talking about?" She giggled.

Holly and Trouble glanced at each other and simultaneously pulled out their guns, pointing them at Koboi's head.

"Shoot them!" she screamed at her henchfairies, but the only ones who had had guns were three snipers she'd planted as soon as she'd seen Fowl's shuttle, and they didn't answer her call.

"Don't move!" Trouble shouted, closing in on Koboi. "If you make one sudden move, I'll kill her." Though he was talking to the fifty or so other fairies in the room, he never took his eyes or his gun off Koboi.

"Fowl, you had something to do with this!"

Artemis shrugged. "I told you it would be foolish to trust me."

Opal was rising in the air. "Stay down," Trouble commanded. "I'll shoot you. Trust me, I have plenty of motivation."

She hovered at about Artemis' head level. Suddenly, without warning, she gripped his neck and flashed a knife at his throat.

"Don't move," she hissed. Trouble stopped.

"Put down your guns, both of you," she commanded.

Holly looked from Trouble to Artemis to Koboi, and then she did as she was told.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_This isn't how it was supposed to happen,_ Artemis thought disparagingly, and pressed a button on his remote.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Finally, the mirrors of one section were retracting to reveal a huge hangar. Vinyáyá obligingly maneuvered the shuttle inside, to be confronted with a scene that made her curse. Opal Koboi stood with a knife to Artemis' neck. Trouble was lowering a gun that had been pointed at Koboi, and Holly looked utterly miserable. Vinyáyá was fairly certain that this wasn't how it was supposed to happen.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

For the third time that night, Butler and Foaly swore simultaneously.

"I don't think this was part of the plan," Butler whispered, taking careful aim. Koboi's back was to him, and he was a trained marksman. He could hit her.

But then the huge door to the hangar slid away to reveal the brilliant sky outside, and Vinyáyá in the shuttle slipped in through the opening. Butler was distracted. "How did that happen?" he hissed.

"Ask the genius," Foaly fumed. "Shoot Koboi, please. Get this mess over with."

Butler took careful aim and pulled the trigger.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_If Artemis is here, Butler is here,_ Holly thought desperately as she released the weapon. Trouble glanced at her worriedly and lowered his own. _If Butler's here, and Koboi doesn't know about it, we've got a hidden ace._

At that moment, the huge door to the hangar began to slide open with a loud grating noise. Koboi glanced up. As soon as the crack was big enough, a small shuttle found its way inside. At the controls sat Wing Commander Vinyáyá, eyes blazing to match her hair. Holly saw her eyes rove over the situation.

Koboi pointedly dug the knifepoint into Artemis' skin. He gasped as a trickle of blood slid down his neck. Vinyáyá's craft halted.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Trouble gazed at Koboi angrily. They had been so close. They were going to bring her and her miserable gang into custody. Once they had her, Sool would be nothing.

And then she had turned the tables on them.

He had considered risking Fowl's life and trying to shoot what little of Koboi wasn't shielded by the Mudboy's body. He didn't much care for Artemis Fowl—he was, after all, a Mudboy—but he was a living being, and Trouble couldn't simply sentence him to death. And Holly cared about him. He couldn't hurt Holly.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Butler swore again. "It's out of ammo!" he hissed angrily. "I'm going down there."

"Wait!" Foaly commanded. He hesitated. "Artemis has something planned. I can feel it."

"Of course Artemis has something planned," Butler growled angrily, starting to back out of the ventilation shaft. "He always has something planned. Usually something that, if it fails, could get him killed. Painfully."

"Alright," Foaly said. "Do as you see fit. But if you screw it up, we're blaming it on you."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"I've got you. All of you." Opal was practically dancing with glee. "Foaly, I know you're listening. Tell Commander Vinyáyá to set down her craft and get out, unarmed."

There was a moment's pause, and then the shuttle, almost reluctantly, settled on the floor of the hangar. A second later, the hatch on the top popped open and Commander Vinyáyá emerged with her hands on her head to show that she had no weapons.

"Plin," she said harshly to one of her henchfairies, who had been standing by, unsure of what to do. He snapped to attention. "Pick up the prisoners' guns and bring them to me."

While he was doing so, Artemis said softly, "You know why I didn't want to join you last year?"

"Why is that?" she smirked, accepting a gun from Plin and quickly switching it with the knife. She was happier than she'd been in months. All that she lacked to complete her joy was a box of chocolate truffles.

"Because you'd only drag me down. I'm smarter than you."

"Really?" she asked. "Let me explain something to you, Mudboy. As soon as I have your heads on plaques in my office, I'm going to be ready to take over the world. Do you want to know why? It's because I'm brilliant. I have perfected the art of cloning, and I have an entire clone army halfway developed. Another week, and we will head off to planet Earth, where we will neatly dispose of any resistance and seat _moi _on the throne of earth."

"Who did you clone?" Trouble asked harshly, anger etched into his face.

She turned her eyes on him calmly. "You. That's why I needed your magic and your blood. It's the magic that made them grow so fast. And even if you were to live past tonight, you'd never be able to regain your magic. I've taken it from you. You're almost human."

He lunged at her, but Holly held him back. "It's okay," she whispered.

"So, Fowl," Opal resumed, ignoring Trouble and Holly, "do you still think you're smarter than I?"

"Yes."

She raised her eyebrows, smiling. "You do? Why?

"Because I haven't played my ace."

"And what is your ace?" she asked mockingly. He was stalling for time.

"Magic."

She snorted, disbelieving. "Any last words, Fowl?"

He turned his face slightly, enough to look at her, but not enough to force the knife into his neck. "Abracadabra."

He vanished.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Now that," said Foaly, taking another bite of his carrot and leaning back in his swivel chair, "would make a good movie."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Holly had no idea how it had happened, but she was dealing with Artemis Fowl here. So she assumed it had been his plan all along, and she decided to take the initiative. A quick rap to the temple of the fairy who was picking up her weapons knocked him flat. She snatched up her gun, slid the trigger to 'stun,' and aimed at Koboil.

Opal was screaming, cursing, and kicking, looking everywhere. But Artemis had disappeared. The ray from the Softnose hit her in midair, freezing her in time for a moment, and then she fell to the ground, unconscious.

Trouble seized two of the other weapons and quickly started dispatching all of the other fairies in the hangar. None resisted. It was as if without their leader, they had no initiative. It didn't take long before the only ones awake were Vinyáyá, Holly, and Trouble.

Major Kelp was breathing hard, as though he couldn't believe it was over. Vinyáyá was walking towards them, a slow smile spreading across her face. Only Holly did not feel the relief of victory. "Where's Artemis?" she asked worriedly.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Butler met only one fairy on his way to the hanger. He looked vaguely familiar, but Butler didn't have time to place his face. He knocked him out with a blow to the top of the head.

When he burst into the hangar, an unexpected sight met his eyes. It was all over. Koboi was unconscious at Holly's feet. Trouble had just dispatched the last fairy in the room. Vinyáyá was walking triumphantly towards them. But Artemis wasn't there.

"Where's Artemis?" Holly asked.

Butler felt a sinking sensation inside. "What happened?"

All three of them jumped at his voice. "He vanished," Holly whispered. "I thought he'd come back, but I don't know where he is."

"I do."

The voice belonged to someone that Butler was starting to think he might never see again. It was Artemis.

He entered the hangar through a small door in the rear of the hangar, opposite the elevator. He held a Neutrino 3000 in his hand, which was aimed very pointedly at a small, balding gnome. Sool.

Trouble cocked his Softnose, walked up to Sool, grinned wickedly, and slammed the butt of his gun into his head. He flexed his fingers as Sool crumpled. "I've needed to do that for a while."

"Fowl, you loggerheaded, flea-bitten, dread-bolted rat, what were you thinking?"

Holly was there, hugging him around the legs—the only part of him she could reach anymore—berating him, hitting him, and dodging out of the way of Butler, who had followed very closely.

"You're welcome," Artemis said dryly, muffled through Butler's shirt.

"How did you do that?" Holly demanded.

"Foaly and I invented a device that'll transport you from one place to another. It works the same way as Willy Wonka's transportation television; it breaks you up into millions of tiny pieces and sends you in waves to another spot almost instantly. Except that we don't lose any particles along the way, so you're the same size on the other end. And you don't need a receiving device."

"Wow," Holly said thoughtfully.

Vinyáyá was watching Artemis with a grin, Butler was checking him over to make sure he wasn't hurt. Trouble turned to Holly. "We're not going to die, after all," he informed her with a smile.

"I dunno. The Council is going to be pretty angry."

He scowled. "Who needs them?"

Holly shrugged. "Not I."

"Nor I."

She laughed, letting him pull her into an embrace. "You don't need anyone."

He shook his head. "I need you."

And he kissed her, not caring who was watching, letting the whole world know that he and Holly Short were going to find frontiers and battle all odds and come off victorious.

Butler saw, while feeling Artemis' ribs to make sure nothing was broken, and a slight smile broke out on his usually impassive face. They deserve each other, he thought.

Foaly saw, through Vinyáyá's helmet camera, and he laughed so hard he threw up. His computer called him a very rude name in his own voice and emptied the trash can.

Vinyáyá saw. She let nothing show on her face, but she thought of the first time she had seen Holly, a fiery cadet in the Flight section of the LEP Academy. She had seen talent, fire, and determination blazing in those hazel eyes, and it hadn't changed since that first day. Trouble, too; a confident, sometimes cocky kid with a knack to prove himself. He'd changed, though; his arrogance had changed into wisdom, his need to show off into a more reserved, well-earned pride.

Artemis saw, for a brief instant, and he just smiled.

THE END


End file.
